What do you call a Muslim woman driving a plane? First, you don't "drive" planes you "fly" them. Second, you should address her as Ma'am, Captain, or Pilot.

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Two men walk into a bar, the third man ducks.

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Did you hear about the one with the priest, the boy, and the dildo? Yes, sadly I have.

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How do you make someone to go away from you? You rap3 them How do you get santa to not give you presents anymore? You rap3 him How do you get the easter bunny to stop coming to your house? Friend: you rap3 him? No, you ask him politly to leave.

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Who would win in a fight, Godzilla or a Tyrannosaurus Rex? It doesn't matter because Godzilla is fictional and a T-Rex is extinct.

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Where should a 500 pound alien go? On a diet.

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A Horse walks into a bar. So the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The Horse replies "My jockey raped me".

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Q: what do you call a guy named Aaron? A: Aaron

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Why was the man squinting his face for so long? He was constipated and couldn't give a shit.

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What do gay horses eat? A combination of straw and legumes, much like heterosexual horses do.

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Whats the difference between a mexican and a bench? A mexican is a human being while a bench is an inanimate object.

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Chuck Norris witnessed a crime.What did he really witness? A Jehovah's witness. xD

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What do you call an Iraqi man steering the plane? a pilot, you racist.

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What's worse than being a Jew in 2010? Being a Jew in 1942.

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What do you call a black man in a cotton field? A farmer

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what does nike and the kkk have in common? Nothing as one is a brand of clothing ie;shoes, hoodies, etc. while the other is a racist cult formed in the 19th century which persecuted african americans.

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor

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Why is Travis so hilarious? ....Trick question hes not.

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Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7? A: Because 7 rapes people

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Q. What red and scratches glass A. a baby in an oven

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Why did the milkman wear a white belt? To keep his pants up.

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What do u call fear of Chuck Norris? Logical

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A traveling salesman came into town and needed a place to stay for the night. A farmer told him that he could sleep at his house, where he introduced the salesman to his young, sexy daughter. "Why hello," said the salesman. It's very nice to meet you." And then he went to sleep in the bedroom that the farmer had prepared for him.

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A man comes home from work and find his wife in bed with another man. They realize that they have grown apart over the past few years, and start attending therapy in an ultimately unsuccessful attempt to reconnect with each other.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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