What do you call a bear in an elevator?...A fire hazard.

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josh roberts makes nuns hang themselves

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What has two legs and can't walk. Someone thats paralyzed!

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your goin down...aint no tomorrow...wha bang bang

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Four blondes are driving to Disneyland, as they finally got to Florida, they read a sign that said "Disneyland: left" so they turned around and headed home.

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My uncle was involved in 9/11... He called me before the plane crashed into the twin towers, his final words were so comforting... "ALLAH AKBAR!!!"

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A tree falls over on an old woman. Mysteriously, the woman lifts the tree up and walks away. A man is amazed by this, so he goes and asks the woman how she managed to lift the whole tree. She tells the man that he is an idiot an walks away. Later inspecting the tree, he realizes it is a small sapling weighing no less than 10 pounds

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Q: Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? A: Because she was a woman.

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What is faster? A bottle of milk or a sand-filled pin ball machine? A fighter jet, stupid!

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why did the chicken stop in the middle of crossing the road? to get to the other side

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How do you get a blonde to eat crayons? Threaten to kill her parents with a hacksaw.

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I love you

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Felix? The Lucky cat? That is the only thing that comes to mind, I am dead tired, but I really don't mind staying up until I cant anymore physically, as for mentally I am getting pretty bad as for company.

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A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says "Hey! We have a drink named after you!" The grasshopper doesn't respond because he is a grasshopper and therefore can't talk.

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Statistically, 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape

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Once upon a time, there was a Y O U M A D and they all lived happily ever after.

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So I saw a man trying to push a plane. I asked why. He told me to mind my own business and go get ebola. And that's why I left for Africa.

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How did the boy compliment the girl? He told her she had a lot of breasts. In return, she told him he had many penises.

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How many times have I said the word shingles? twelve.

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Your mom is so nce that when you got into college she taught you to be more independent so you could succeed later in life.

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Where do cows get cultured? They don't, they get slaughtered first.

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Why does a squirel swim on his back? Because it was trying to keep his nuts clean

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What did the lighthouse say to the tree? Nothing because they are both unatimate objects and cannot speak

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Why? She had no Arms or legs Knock knock Whos there? Not Sally XD XD XD XD XD XD XD

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops