A guy walks into a bar, and then orders a jack and coke.

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why did the chef go to jail? because he was caught beating an egg

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What is obama's favorite place to eat? Subway

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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What did charles get his sister for christmas? Nothing, he's dead

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Why did the black guy enjoy anal sex? Because he has a phobia of vaginas and only likes to have anal

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Why couldn't the car drive? Because its wheels were made of butter.

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How do you lock out a Chinese Person? Lock the door

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Your mom is so stupid that she failed out of high school and was forced to prostitute for money, thus resulting in you.

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What is the difference between your mother and a hooker? Gonorrhea and her father's approval.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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What's long brown and sticky? S**t

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? AIDS. AIDS is worse.

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What happened after four homosexual clowns all squeezed into a little toy car simultaneously? Children and parents alike were amazed by this feat, and considered their $5 entrance fee very well spent.

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Q:: when artificial intelligence takes over the planet, what will become of anti-joke.com? A:: idk, but my cousin's girlfriend and I will get naked together and she will get on top of me and tell me I'm awesome and that my d*ck feels really good inside her. you see by the time AI takes over, the means to create virtual reality experiences will be greatly enhanced.

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What's the difference between a baby and a pineapple? Pineapples were not shot by nazis during the holocaust.

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What's black and white and red all over? A exploding zebra.

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there are 2 muffins in an oven they are cooked nicely and served as a tasty dessert

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a rabbi,a priest and minister didnt walk into a bar. Bars are for fun and fun is for not completely insane brainwashed people.

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What did the guard say to the... I was going to finish this anti-joke but I took an arrow to the knee.

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How do you know that your at a gay barbecue? Because, the hot dogs taste like shit!

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A Mexican, and Arab and an American are on a plane. The the plane is going down. It hits a mountain and crashes. But there was also a lot of other people on the plane. Families, children, loved ones. It was huge a disaster.

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There once was a man from Nantucket I raped him. The End.

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Where does a hobo live? A box.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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