Fred awoke and looked outside. The sun was rising over the fog in the valley below. Birds were singing, and the air smelled of freshly cut grass. THIS was the day, Fred thought, that I'm going to kill my wife and kids.

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What did the ghost say to the bee? BOOBEE

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What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs are both the same.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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So - this baby seal walked into a club.

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I used to make references to characters in Skyrim, but then my uncle touched me...

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A horse walked into a barn...

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pussy enough said

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what did the kid say when the bully took his ice cream nothing the bully punched him in the face first.

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What do you call a grizzly bear without teeth? A gummy bear

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Ran into my ex last night, so I put my truck in reverse and did it again.

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whats worse then getting robbed by a black man? -getting hit by a bus due to not having the needed currency to get a ride home

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left him.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Nobody, you have no friends.

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Why was the man squinting his face for so long? He was constipated and couldn't give a shit.

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why did the mexican cross the road to get to the other country

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What is Mario's favorite food? I don't know. You should ask him.

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Teacher: Be creative and original! Student A: Teacher, why do you want us to change our monikers? I'm fine the way I am. After all, I'm unique... just like everybody else... Teacher: Why don't I have the brilliant children? Student B: Chance/randomness plays a large part in our everyday lives. Take for example the life of Bob- a paragon for human normality. He gets up in the morning each and every single day to be greeted by an arbitrary occurrence. Although it sometimes serves Bob good, it could also aggrandize his human well of detriment. Teacher, do you want me to continue? Teacher: I retract my earlier statement. Some of the children are brilliant, but most are not. Hence I'm going to say that I have a normal class of students. Student B: Teacher, you didn't answer my last question of which I addressed to you specifically.

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William came home from school and was very tired. He went to the kitchen and got a chocolate bar. Then he died.

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why couldn't hellen keller drive becasue she was a women

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Oh my god, I'm on fire! Help me, help me, oh God it's everywhere!

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Knock knock, Whos there Nig.ger Nig.ger who Fu.ck all nig.gers.

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Father: Son stop masterbating u might go blind Son: But Dad I'm over here

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What do you call a black man in a cotton field? A farmer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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