What is the difference between a pig and a crow? One is a animal that Is butchered to be eaten as a wonderful meat product. And the other is a pretentious asshole bird that no one likes.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby dressed as a clown.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why are Asians so good at math? because of their work ethic and determination to become the best at everything.rice.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Presidents are black Rappers are white Welcome to 2011

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the Smartie get fired from the M&M factory? For throwing out all the W&Ws

thumb_up thumb_down -23

what's the difference between a lion and an ostrich? they are both birds, a part from the lion

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Roses are blurry so is everything else I need glasses

thumb_up thumb_down -23

what did little johnny get his grandfather for christmas?nothing his grandfather died on thanksgiving

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What happened to the homeless man at midnight? He took a shit on the ground

thumb_up thumb_down -23

When you try to go to anti-joke.com but get redirected to Horsehead Network...

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. His family is struggling financially and his children are severely malnourished. If he wasn't an alcoholic, he could afford healthcare for his family and move into a better neighborhood. But he's not, so they will die a long, painful death.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A. Do you know what they call Bing Crosby in Sweden? B. No. A. Bing Crosby.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

why was the man afraid of the tree? Because it ate his mother!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a schizophrenic And so am I

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A duck walks into a bar and is immediately shot to prevent the spread of bird flu.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A blonde, brunette, brown walk into a hair salon. They then proceed to each get they're own procedures done then leave not having any contact with each other.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

yesterday, a girl asked me why a guy is Bro if he bangs alot of chicks, and chicks are hoes if they do alot of guys. i said to her “well, if one key can open a lot of locks, then it is the master key. if a lock can be opened by alot of keys, then it’s a shittyass lock, isn’t it

thumb_up thumb_down -23

The last head of Satan, is oh but what you blamed upon Your faults, Your sins. The thoughts of Madness written here, yet potent enough to cloud Your thoughts.... Wait not forever children of man, as eternity is at its peak, the false prophet IS AMONGST US! But what side is he on? The last ditch attempt to protect humanity from a raging jealous vengeful God? Say it is not so! Say that darkness is not the only thing standing against you and eternal damnation... ...Yet you killed his only true child, you stole his name, his essence... Even his Identity... ...Even the Angels white are powerless to stop him, Your maker, Your true maker, for what is the grief of the holy, from which you took his only son... ...As you celebrate once and once anew... :...Merry CHRISTmas, to all of those of you all now left behind... Celebrate it well, as before the world reaches 2017, is where it all ends...

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How many babies can you fit in a blender? Depends how hard you push.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

what do you call a man without an umbrella? wet

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Q:How many pieces of paper can one tree make? A:Trees cannot make paper, people make paper from trees. So the answer is none, a tree can't make any paper whatsoever.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -23

why did the plane crash ? Because a loaf of brad was flying it, and Loaves of bread don't fly planes

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops