Why did the Muslim suicide bomber commit suicide? He was nervous and didn't think he could hijack a plane.

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A vodka please Sir this is McDonald's Ok sorry, a McVodka please

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When life throws knives at you, run away.

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Roses are blue Violets are red Is that really What I just said?

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A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says, I'm sorry but you have about four to six months to live. The man goes home and checks his million dollar life insurance policy.It expires in three months.

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dylan wishes life was like cod. that way he would actually be able to do something cool

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what do you call a black man flying a plane?? a pilot ,you racist!

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its all shi.ts and giggles.... ......until someone giggles and s.hits

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you and then wash my hands directly after because boogers are gross

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How do you kill a fish? You bite off its head.

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A jew, a mexican, a priest, a polock, a rabbi, a black guy, a white guy, an alien, a rooster, a duck, a horse, a chicken, a carrot, a chinaman, a plumber, a blond, and a christian are all examples of descriptive nouns.

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Q: what do you get when you mix a bull dog and a shiitzu? A: a dog

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Roses are red Violets are blue This is a poem The End

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Penis.

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Roses are red Violets are silly Grease up your flaps Cause here comes my willy!

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A dog walks into a bar Because the door was open -Tag

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why are crocodiles so angry? because they have a lot of teeth but no tooth brush?

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A man once had a monkey, and it made him very happy. then one day, his monkey ran away. So the man was very sad and screamed, "I knew i should have broken the monkey's legs!!"

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What did the paper say to the pen? Nothing, they are inanimate objects!

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Roses are black Violets are black A black person died

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What is BIG, STIFF, AND FULL OF SEMEN!!!? A SUBMARINE!!!!!!!

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Three penguins sitting in a tub. The first penguin says to the third penguin, "Hey would you pass the soap?" The penguin in the middle says, "What do you think I am a typewriter?"

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what do you call a black man with a knife in his hand? a surgeon.

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why did the 60 year old touch the little boy's penis? because he was a pedophile.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops