Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is both deaf and blind. Driving would be an extremely hazardous action for herself and other nearby drivers.

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Your mom's so fat that she is going to contract heart disease by age 30.

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What do you do when you're surrounded by 15 vampires and 15 werewolves? Stop pretending.

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What would Abraham Lincoln do if he were alive today? Scream and scratch at the lid of his coffin.

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How does a black man cut his hair? At a hairdresser

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Whats the difference between Obama and Hitler? One is the President of the United States The other is a fascist dictator that killed millions.

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Q: Why didn't johnny get any Christmas presents? A: Because he died in a house fire 3 years ago.

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How about that airline food?

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When did Rick Santorum realize he was gay? When we woke up with a bloody condom in his ass.

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Too bad, because UNTIL YOUR FUCKING "POWER OF HUMAN KIND" CAN SUMMON UP A FUCKING EYEBALL! NOTHING WILL MAKE UP FOR THIS SHIT! "Oh, my the good old phonebook, I will... Now... try... to... seduce... you... with... my... "goodness" As far as "oh I know where you live", well nobody here is hiding fagface! So you come out of your "darkness or shadows or whatever" and let me stab out both your fucking eyes! And we are STILL NOT GOOD! And yeah, have your faggots stop calling themselves Nero.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im tired Cheese on toast

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Flawed genetics? I am just sad, but then again I am a crybaby, mind sharing a bit more with me? I mean you wont call me wont you? You are not keeping me a secret from anyone right?

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A woman walked into a college.....which wasn't suprising because she never learned to read

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do you like hardcore music? ya i love brokencyde

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What's funny about 9/11. Nothing.

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What do you call someone who doesn't have a soul? A ginger

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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My jeans

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They say duck tape can fix every thing, Not my grandma's cancer for that matter.

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Why was the lady afraid of cooking? Because her husband always beat her with a frying pan

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A horse finds himself sleeping in the ocean. Immediately, he decides to be a dolphin.

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What did the tiger say to the jellyfish? Nothing; tigers can't talk. And if they could the chances of a tiger meeting a jellyfish would be very slim.

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knock knock no no you go now i clean

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Roses are red Violets are blue We decapitated some little children Now I'm in jail too.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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