Why did Chuck Norris start crying? Because he was in a coma

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I remember my days you know in the army, agfanifuckingstan, got dirty water, then spent a week shitting... Anyway, I was holding a grenade right? And then two of them came around and I was like "here come good boy! GOOOD BOY! Catch the ball!" And then I pulled the pin and threw it. Aww shut up, you are all like "YOU SOLDIER KILL PUPPIES!" NO THOSE WHERE KIDS! And they would have been like 15 today and been killing your men today! YOU ARE SO FUCKING WELCOME!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm an expert on flowers.

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How do you blind an Asian man You stab him six times in each eye socket and drop cyan pepper in his eye wound.

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How are humans like slinkies? - They are not good for very much and bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs!

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Chose to describe yourself: Green thumb: Tall wealthy, good looking, intelligent man with a model wife, a ferrari expensivo, a hotel just for yourself. Red thumb: A below average piece of shit? Green thumb? Dont lie to me you piece of sh*t!

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What did the dyslexic boy get for Christmas? A laptop. And he was very happy.

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What's worse than a bruise in your knee? A bruise in your other knee. And what is worse than that? The Holocaust. And what is worse than that? A second Holocaust, much bigger, with much more casualties.

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what happend to the kid standing on a railway, he got hit by a train

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a man walks into a bar with a poodle stuffed halfway up his rectum... WHY ARE YOU WAITING FOR A PUNCHLINE!? MY GOD! THIS MAN HAS A DOG UP HIS ANUS!

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Are you thinking Arby's? No. My grandmother died of tuberculosis and it's troubling me.

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What do you call a Mexican flying a plane from Mexico City to Los Angeles? A pilot you racist.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Sex with helen keller.

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How many immature teenagers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Your Mum.

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Which came first? The chicken? Or the egg? Whichever one was more sexually excited i guess.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Hitler, time to shower!

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Joe goes to the bathroom with someone in the next stall named Bill Bill: "Hi" Joe: "Hi" Bill: "How you doing" Joe: "Good" Bill: "You traveling" Joe: "Yes to Alabama" Bill: "Yeah, I got to go a guy in the next stall answering all my questions bye"

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Uh... What was emulating again?

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hextech crafting too opieop

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Q: How many Jews are there in Germany? A: None, they all died in the holocaust

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Knock Knock Who's there? The KKK, got any blacks?

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What's the difference between an orange? A bicycle because a vest doesn't have any sleeves.

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XD Thats what I was expecting from you, you do not go down without a bit of struggle and a tussle huh?

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Dollar ice tea... I drink that Supa hot fire... i spit that Two and a half men................... I watch that

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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