How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? A wood chuck CAN chuck wood, that's why his a wood chuck.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Chuck Norris witnessed a crime.What did he really witness? A Jehovah's witness. xD

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you kill a blonde? Repeatedly stab a knife into her jugular vein

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the little girl drop her ice cream cone? She got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what has legs but can't walk? a paraplegic

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Arsonist: Hey, did you listen my mixtape? It's really FIRE.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

my names jim haha

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What is the difference between your mother and a hooker? Gonorrhea and her father's approval.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What do you call something round and red that tastes like a tomato and shoots through walls? A Super Tomato. And what do you call a banana that shoots through walls? A banana trying to be a Super Tomato.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Last time I heard that I dropped my i-phone

thumb_up thumb_down +94

Whats red and is bad for your teeth? A brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +90

What do u call fear of Chuck Norris? Logical

thumb_up thumb_down +48

What did the homeless man get for christmas? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +38

why did the shark cross the road It didn't its a shark

thumb_up thumb_down +38

A guy vociferiously kills another person- fueled by the incentive of personal gain provided by his rapacious, human nature. He is an army soldier who's triumphant in battle and hoping to recieve a promotion. However, ultimately all he did was essentially insignificantt and his acts of purported valor were diametrically unnoticed by all except for his closest friends/allies. He never did supass his original self of a soldier and died of a natural cause that was disclosed only to the members of his immediate family.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

KNOCK KNOCK. who's there? Isdar Isdar who? Isdark in here.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A couple arrived at Hospital in less than 3 hours. but actually they wanted to go to the Church...and 3 hours is quite a long time...

thumb_up thumb_down +34

why couldnt the mexican jump the fence? He broke his leg.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Q: What did the bulbasoar say to the charmander? A: bulbasoarrr

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How did the osprey find the fish? He searched for it.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Who would win in a fight, Godzilla or a Tyrannosaurus Rex? It doesn't matter because Godzilla is fictional and a T-Rex is extinct.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

why doesnt cornelia say anything? she didnt answer

thumb_up thumb_down +20

roses are red violets are blue the stems are green they smell good

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A suicide bomber enters a bar. Everyone dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops