tomatoe tomato my toe is named tom

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A man walks in to a bar. He gets a cuncussion and his heath insurance isn't enough to cover his physical therapy. He dies poor and alone.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I'm not sure, but the farmer must be very upset about the loss of one of his chickens.

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What do you get if you cross an Irishman with a Brazilian Aristocrat? I don't know.

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What do you call a Mexican that sails a ship? A sailor

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Rose: Mummy, why did you name me Rose? Mother: Because a rose fell on your head when you were a baby Daisy: Mummy, why did you name me Daisy? Mother: Because a daisy fell on you when you were a baby Fridge: durr hurr Mother: Shut up, Fridge

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-Knock Knock - Who's there? - Child Protective Services, we have multiple reports of you abusing several of your children...

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blargen fa-diddle nachen!

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What word starts with "N" and ends with "R" that you never want to call a black person? Nagger

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Shaving your balls is just plain nuts!

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A blonde, a redhead and a brunette were on an island. There were loads of other people too - the UK is a pretty popular place to live.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Where's my tractor

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What do you call an obese kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

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Why did the woman make a sandwich? Because she was hungry.

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What's white and red all over? A white guy who walked in the ghetto.

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What did the strawberry say to the strawberry? Nothing because strawberries are fruit and can't talk

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Why wouldn't anyone want Helen Kellers dog? It's been buried for a long time...

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Q : How many babies do you need to paint a wall A : It depends on how hard you throw

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What did the hat say to the scarf? Nothing.

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How many eskimos does it take to build an igloo? It depends... probably about six or seven.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Two black guys walk into a bar the bartender says get out

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What is my cats favorite college? Harvard

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What is a frogs favorite drink? Water.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops