Why does Beyonce sing "to the left, to the left"? Because that's where a box of everything you own is

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A monkey walks into a bar. Monkeys are always funny.

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Why did the blonde make pasta even though she had a gluten allergy? She had some Italian friends coming over. Also she bought some gluten-free pasta and sauce so she wouldn't need to be hospitalized.

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What's worse than being caught in a downpour? Having your kneecaps ripped out of their sockets.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A. Treadmil

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What the the Tyrannosaurus say to the chicken? Dinosaurs are extinct and even if they were not, it would not say anything to a domestic fowl, it would most likely devour it with one bite.

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A man walked in to a bar, he ordered a few drinks, met some new friends and had a good laugh with them. Later that night, he got in his car and drove home, which was foolish, as he should have known that being under the influence of alcohol increases the percentage of a collision, which could take his life and the lives of others. He arrived home just fine and got in to bed with his wife who was happy to see him.

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What is the difference between you and a brick? A brick gets laid.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Nobody knows, it's impossible to determine the motivations of an animal that is incapable of speech.

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Slug on ya tooth Gavin David Newman

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What did the blind man say when you asked hi his favorite color? Nothing he is death too

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So Helen Keller walks into a bar...

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Have you ever seen the episode of the powerpuff girls where they save the day?

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So a guy with alsimers walks into a bar........I forget the rest.

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A gay man watches football.

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What's red, white and not blue. A Canadian flag

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why was the little boy crying? he wasnt, he died 2 weeks ago

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Max

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im a barbie girl in a barbie world !!!! no your not its not phisicly possible for a plastic doll to have any form of feelings !!!!!

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How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

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What did Aladin say to Mulan? Nothing. Although they are both Disney characters, they never appear in the same film, and therefore never communicate.

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What had 82 eyes, 7 mouths, and sings the blues? Nothing, the described creature does not exist.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a bus on the way over.

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whats funnier than a black person dieing nothing that is so cruel

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops