Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

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Yo momma is so stupid, she has no job, five kids, and six weeks to live, due to the fact she spent all her money on cigarettes and now has lung cancer.

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what did the boy with no arms get for easter? a cane.

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hey I just met you and this is crazy but get in my van

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what did the guy say on friday ? ah man im so glad its not monday tuesday wednesday thursday friday saturday sunday he then threw a horse at a plane while moonwalking on a star that was riding a duck that was on a rabbit. Sir jumpalot was working overtime as he had to pay for a free phone

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What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing. The ocean is inanimate and therefore incapable of speech.

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An incoming freshman introduces himself to his Ethics professor by saying, "What's up?" To which the professor responds, "You should never end a sentence with a preposition." The freshman, who is both clever and witty, quickly responds to his future Professor, saying: "Professor, I practice linguistic description, such that I observe language objectively in a way that does not adhere strictly to grammatical and syntactic dogma". The professor, surprised by the student's philosophical disposition, engages the student in a highly constructive dialogue about the philosophy of language, from which both the student and teacher learn more about each other and themselves.

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Hi! This is Ms.McGruder you two boys in my office at 3:00 p.m. today

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What did batman say to robin to get in the car? Get in the car.

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What did tyler say to Jake? My pussy is wet jew

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A. Why did the boy cross the road? B. Why? A. I don't know! That's why I'm asking you.

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are you saying pam, or pan?

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Whats brown and sticky? A stick

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I was very thirsty so I decided to go get some soda.Upon reaching the soda store I discovered a very long line. I decided to leave the line and instead get some milk, unfortunately once again there was a long line at the milk store. Discouraged by still thirsty I decided to try to luck at the punch store. There was a long line there also.

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wats green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree, it would kill u? a pool table

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What is worse than being bitten by a snake? Being bitten twice! - Louis

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why did the golfer ware two ares of paents. if he got a hole in one

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melons are berries, tomatoes are fruit, being a smart-ass isn't that good.

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why was the frog sad..... because it was stappled to the boys face

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99% of teenagers would cry if they saw justin bieber on the top of a skyscraper, about to jump. However, there is 1% who would be sitting in a lawn chair at the bottom screaming, DO A BACKFLIP!!!

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How do you stop a car from crashing into a wall? -You can't, you are welcome to try, but please don't.

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Q: Who was shot 50 years ago? A: Abraham Lincoln was shot 50 years ago! (=

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Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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