Goats are like mushrooms. If you shoot a duck, I'm afraid of toasters.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man walks into a bar with a couple of chickens by his side. He sees a man sitting at the bar drinking a beer. The man who's drinking the beer offers the other man a seat, and asks him to join him in the drinking. The other man hardly refuses and takes the glass from the other man and throws it on the with all his power to the floor. The man sitting at the bar asks him why he did it. The man answers: "My chickens don't like beer"

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the fireman wear suspenders? To keep his pants up.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a Mexican hockey player? A hockey player.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What’s green and eats nuts? Syphilis.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Jimmy: Knock, knock, Grandmother: Who's there? Jimmy: Jimmy Grandmother: Jimmy who? And then Jimmy held back tears as he knew grandmother's Alzheimer's disease was getting worse.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did Suzy fall off the swing? As Suzy neared the ground while swinging, her foot caught a small hole in the swingset's pebble foundation, and the power of Suzy's momentum along with the sudden stop of Suzy's swing forced Suzy to fly forward off of the swing. Suzy, seeing the silliness of her mistake, laughed it off, and tried to get back up. She quickly realized that her leg had snapped in half. Suzy will never walk again.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

a 12 year eld Maxican girl is aksed to spell the werd newmonia she gets it rite and wins the spalling beef which makes me sad bcuz English is my forst langage and i still dont get it and im 25

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what does a gorilla do when it sleeps. it snores.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A man walked into a bar. It was closed, so I don't see how this was possible.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

hi

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What is the difference between your mother and a hooker? Gonorrhea and her father's approval.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the man mysteriously disappear? Because he was hiding without telling anyone that he was hiding.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Yo momma's so short, it's probably because she's in a wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7? A: Because 7 rapes people

thumb_up thumb_down -39

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. The brunette and the redhead escape, but the blonde is captured. Why? Because she had a prosthetic leg sustained from a previous injury, and thus couldn't run very fast.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Have Alzheimers, Cheese on Toast.

thumb_up thumb_down -77

Why did the blond fall of the ladder? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -85

whats worse than getting a fail on your math test? Getting shot.

thumb_up thumb_down +80

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? He said, "Where's my tractor?"

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Animal

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why did the gay man's ass hurt? He has rectal cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

You are such a loner nothing even clings to you, not even plastic wrap!!

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops