Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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Why did the toddler fall in the pool? He was irresponsibly left unattended outside and tripped on the edge of the pool. He died within two minutes and his parents were blamed for his death.

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Q: what's worse than getting the flu? A: getting cancer

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I am dyslexic

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What did the apple say to the orange? Nothing because their both fruits.

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What did the cow say when he saw his family get murdered? Moo.

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Did you hear about the guy with no legs? He had them blown off by a tank shell in Afganistan.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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Haikus are easy But they don't always make sense. Refrigerator.

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What's the best thing about the Pixies? Their music.

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My grandma told me to always keep my head up and just keep going. She fell down a manhole last week and died.

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pobody's nerfect

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everyone dislike this

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Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a bag of dead babies? A: I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline.

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My zombie busting team: Tank: The Terminator Mechanic: Tony Stark Demolitions: Superman Medic: Gandalf Bait: Justin Bieber

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whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a red corvette? i don't have a red corvette in my garage

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What did the man say to the young, blond athletic girl walking by? "Hi."

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2 doctors are talking to each other: -Dead? -Dead.

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A man walks into a bar, but it's really not his fault because his seeing eye dog led him right into it.

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Why don't Vikings read the New York Times? Because they all died centuries ago. And none of them live in New York.

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A cat starts grooming itself How many sprinkles does it take to cover the moon Cabinet because whales live in water

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're adopted.

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Waseem is a hard worker.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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