what do mexicans and grass have in common You find them both in your front yard

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Knock knock Who's there? Justin Bieber OH MY GOD REALLY?! No.

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How do you kill a blonde girl? You put a scratch and sniff sticker on the bottom of a filled pool.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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What's better than singing in the rain? Singing in a Pitt of fire. Oh wait that would be way worse than singing in the rain

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What did Edward Cullen say to the hot girl? Since I am a vampire it is impossible for me to get an erection.

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I told my doctor I’m the first man on the face of the earth to suffer from morning sickness. He promptly corrected my mistake; my excessive vomiting is actually caused by chemo.

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What's blue paint and smells like red paint? Paints

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Why was the 18 year old white male late for his college class. On his way to college he got in a car accident and killed 5 people and he walked away unharmed

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Why did Jimmy fall off of his bike? Well, he was always known for his lack of balance.

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Sally bought a shakeweight. She is an alcoholic and is ruining her family.

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roses are read violets are blue my fanny is orange I have the flu my name is gemma

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What is better than life? Nothing.

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What do you call a muslim flying an airplane? A pilot.

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Q-what did the bus say to the other bus? A-nothing, buses are incapable of talking

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your mother is so fat that her doctor advised her to stick to a strict diet and exercise routine to help her lose weight

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Q: What do you call a white man with 5 black men? A: A friendly white man. Q: What do you call a white man with a hundred black man? A: A tourist in Kenya.

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and an arab walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the arab has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in Chicago. The bartender reminds the arab that he's with a swine, and the arab is offended for the poor horse.

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My dog has no nose, how does it smell? Using its anus.

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Hey i just met you. and this is crazy. I sent you my pubes in an envelope.

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What walks on the three legs? Martin, he was born with a tragic birth defect and struggles to make a living.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Actually, now that i think of it, roses come in many colors And violets are actually violet in color, thus the name

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Whats long and hard and women like to suck on them? A popsicle or long lollipop

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so if your riding down a big hill in your canoe and your bicycle falls out how many pancakes do you have left? you would have 200 pancakes left --sticksack

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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