A dyslexic man walks into a building labeled, Bra. He then thinks he has found heaven but is suprised when all that is served is beer, not milk.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you do if your batteries die and you have none left? Go to your nearest battery selling retail store and buy some more.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why is it a shame if a kid gets run over by a car? I like the newspaper headlines about stabbings better.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Uh no, yogurt as in the bacteria that they add to milk in order to make the finished product yogurt. You see, while the effect is seen in twins (for example if one twin gets raped, the other gets a fucking sore ass) Sorry, I am still under trance here myself, you get out of it, I am gonna have some fun, go splash some water on your face. I mean people go like "woah that is impossible it only happens in rare cases and so on right?" Fun stuff: Yogurt, you can seal yogurt in a steel container miles away after separating its culture (basically having a colony living together and then moving them away from each other as in 30000 kilometers and sealing them in soundproof safe`s and whatnot. Feed one half of the yogurt, and the other one far far away begins munching into thin air, now keep the food close to the yogurt, and the bacteria will begin "begging for it" (as in when baby chicks notice the parent has arrived with food), and so will the culture of yogurt sealed in a safe 30000 miles away. Why? Living in similar states, brings a natural connection, we are attracted to similarities, and as far as the human knowledge of the LAW of attraction goes, distance is not a factor, look it up, or just believe me.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was Timmy crying? Because he got raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

person 1: Do you have a christmas necklace I could borrow for a party? person 2: I have a one with a leprechaun.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

''Hey, this is absolutely true. There's an organization now called 'Draft Dick Cheney for President, 2012.' Yeah. Good luck with that. They tried to draft Dick Cheney five times during Vietnam. That didn't work.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

:D STORY TIME! :D ... :D So once upon a time there was a... :) Uhm... :\ I forgot... Sorry :(

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Wanna hear a funny anti joke?...........................................................................................Funny anti joke

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was Timmy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: Why did the grandma forget to take her pills? A: She died in a tornado

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did Batman brush his teeth? So he wouldn't get bat breath

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Hey i just met you, and this is crazy, i have amnesia, i'm Skepta

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the boy break his leg? Because he fell off a building

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: What do you call a dog driving a car? A: A dog driving a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is the difference between a feminist and a gun? A gun only has one trigger

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's fatter than your mum? Your mum's mum

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the man go to the doctors? He was concerned about his health.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the difference between a piano and a goldfish? One's a piano, the other is a goldfish.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A young black man walks into a KFC. He takes a quick stop in the bathroom and continues on the road to his ivy league college.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what did the 14 year old boy get for christmas? nothing because he his sitting in prison for killin his parents and is serving a life sentence.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why wasn't the black kid allowed in the school? Because it was the Southern United States in the 1930s and due to racial tensions at the time most public facilities were seperated by race.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is worse than a papercut? Losing your legs in Vietnam.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are red Violets are blue I shit my pants do you want my poo.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops