Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He died Why did the other boy fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first Why did the third boy fall out of the tree? Prepressure

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Do you believe in magic? cuz i do.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Knock knock. Get out!!

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What's the difference between a black man and a orange? One is a fruit and other isn't

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Oh no my baby is dead. Ha.

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what unique about 3 red signs and 1 blue sign right next to eachother? there all the same colors!!!!except for the blue sign.

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Doctor: Knock knock. Patient: Whose there? Doctor: Interrupting doctor. Patient: Interrupting doc... Doctor: Your son has AIDS and will die soon.

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An asian man walks into a taxi. The driver asked which chinese or electronic store woupd u like to go to?

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Q: What did the crippled deaf kid get for Christmas? A: A motorised wheelchair and a cochlear implant. Good for him.

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Whats red and bad for your teeth? Bricks

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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How do you make a professional wrestler cry? You don't

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Q) Why are there no aspirin in the jungle? A) Because it would not be financially viable to attempt to sell pharmaceuticals in the largely unpopulated rainforest

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What happens to a banana after it gets sunburnt? It peels.

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why did suzie fall off the swing? because she had no arms.. knock, knock who's there? not suzie

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This is my fist. Would you politely run into it as fast as you can?

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What's the first thing that goes through a persons mind when they get shot in the head. The bullet.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have herpes And now so do you

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What did the Jewish girl do when I asked for her number? Roll up her sleeve...

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If 1+1=2, then you must have passed first grade arithmetic.

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Do You Know You Have Cancer?

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Q:What's black, wrinkled and smells like raisins? A: A raisin.

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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