How did the hairless cat braid its hair? It didn't, it was hairless. Also, cats do not have opposable thumbs.

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What's worse than getting a parking ticket? Getting Cancer.

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There was porn on the Internet I masturbated to it, but my parents caught me, and I can't ever leave the house again until I'm 18.

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Wanna know what I don't get? I was gonna say yo face, but that would be mean.

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Why did the pumpkin when orange is not a letter in Spanish? Because moon shoes are der milf

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Q. why did the boy who just had his first kiss feel no emotion? A. He got hit a Croquet mallet and died

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Knock knock Who's there? No one ever mentioned someone named "there" it's me, Jim

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what did the blind man get for christmas? Cancer.....

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? - Because she had no arms. Why couldn't she get back up again? - Because she had no legs. Why didn't anyone help her? - Because she had no friends. Knock knock. -Who's there? Not Sally.

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Imagine yourself in a box with no windows and no doors. How do you get out? Stop imagining.

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I came to the bar at 7:00. What time did I leave at? There was no clock at the bar I went to, therefore i cannot determine when I left or when I cmae, so my above opinion is clearly incorrect.

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Knock knock whose there alzheimers alzheimers who get in the van

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What's black and crawls around on eight legs? An octopus that just inked itself.

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If you want to make the little things count, teach midgets maths!

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Why did the cat eat himself? He was hungry

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What did the cancer patient say to the other cancer patient? Nothing, he was dead.

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What Did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

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How do you tell if your boyfriend is gay? He is having sex with men

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How do you stop a baby from making bad grades? You throw a javelin at its head.

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people can be soooo loud!!!!!!! sooo loud that they wake up helen keller!!!!!!

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis. -Rivrawr

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Why did the kid get hit by the bus? He was in the road.

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What's worse than bad words? People who say them

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops