what is blue and smells like fish? blue fish ;)

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Robert had 30 cheeseburgers and he ate 28 of them. What does he have now? Diabetes.

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Q; Why did the gas station attendant scream when 3 black men walked into his store? A: It was his surprise birthday party.

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knock knock ? Who's there ? idunnop idunnop who ? Eww you've done a what?!

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What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you? You die.

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Yo mama's so fat she threw a rock at the ground and missed.

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Why did the little girl fall from the swing? She's got no arms.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There must have been something that peaked her interest.

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What do you call a prostitute with morals? Ironic.

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How do you make a dog drink? Put one in a blender.

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-Bumper Sticker- Honk if you love Jesus. (Text while driving if you want to meet him)

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What do the Irish do on their birthdays? Eat birthday cake and sing happy birthday

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An epileptic man attends a rave.

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Why did the courageous young boy always follow his dreams? His IQ sucked.

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Q: What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a sheep? A: A genetic aberration that is an insult to both God and man.

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How many black men does it take to change a light bulb? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE!

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Q-how many dead babies does it take to paint your geradge door? A-one if you throw it hard enough

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Two black men are sitting next to each other on a bench when a woman walks by. The first man says "Damn, that's a nice pair of tits!". The second man said "Yes, she does posses a supple and voluptuous bosom." The cat that was sitting underneath the bench then began cleaning himself.

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Yo mama so stupid she was trying to put her M&M's in alphabetical order

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What's green and eats nuts? Syphilis.

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four blondes where on their way to disneyworld they see a sign that say disneyworld:left so they turn around wondering where disneyworld went

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What do you call a black man with cancer? Someone with cancer

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A sociopath and his neighbors dog. He got one of those huge dogs the other day, and it took a crap on my lawn, so I put up a wanted poster 50000 dollars Wanted Dead Or Alive, and that dog smells and bites... It did not work, so I took my neighbor out hunting, I shot his dog, "Said sorry I thought it was a moose" He replied "did you have to shoot at him 15 times?" "I replied, I am out of ammo, but if you can borrow me some I can land a few extra..." Asshole got another dog, so we went out duck hunting, he asked me why I brought a hand grenade... "Land ducks, dog shaped non flying land ducks" Also I stole his office nametag and got naked and sat on a random office at his workplace and jacked off to porn, his boss showed up and said "Mr. Asswhipe, just because this is your office you are not allowed to get naked and uh... Watch... Uh private stuff here okay? I smirked and said "Dont worry Boss, its not my office!" I used glue to glue his nametag to my chest okay? He got yet another dog, I shot my neighbor, his dog starved to death, his wife was mourning and bought two dogs to comfort her. Thats okay, I just picked up both chiguguas at once and broke their neck in a single stroke, then I set fire to her house... The wind spread it on to mine... Fuck... I shot her and took her place, its the same as mine basically, just that there is a dead bitch I can fuck... I mean the woman, you think I am pervert or something? Besides you know... They are chiguguas, I mean i tried its... Its just not... You know... HEY RELAX THEY WHERE BOTH FEMALE OKAY? AND NO NOTHING FIT ANYWHERE SO I HAD TO CUT THEM OPEN AND... Moral of the story: Do not shoot the dog! Poor innocent animal! shot the owner, and then the poor innocent animal! NeroMetal, not the fucker that stole my moral system and name to make this site into some fucking cult thing... I do not cult, I you know... Kids... Dogs... Women... (I love them you fucking sicko) I give them candy (candy being my cock yeah you fellow sicko)

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whats yellow after cani...nathan

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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