hey i jut met u, and i have alzeihmer, cheese and toast

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Once upon a time, there was this guy. He lived a good life and then died.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you call a straight A student that takes 6 Vicodin's, 5 Percocet's, and 7 Adderalls? I don't know, but he will most likely die of drug overdose.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q. Whats does the kid and the dog have in common? A. The kid has Herpes.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

how do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did a Jewish man have no hair left? He recently got a haircut.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Who's the best German Chef? Hitler

thumb_up thumb_down +20

I'll have a chocolate milkshake, hold the onions.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

what do you call a bird that is gay bird a gaybird

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Whats worse than failing an English test? finding out your now exgirlfriend has aids.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you call a dog with no wings? A dog

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Was the worlds most expensive comedian any fun? Well, he was funny, but they where all cheap laughs. Moral: Expensive jokes are expensive.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A blind man walks into a bar... And a table. And a chair.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

I will slap myself once for every like this joke gets!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the viking say to the alien? "Vad i namn av valhalla är en utlänning gör här?"

thumb_up thumb_down +20

(To the pretty girl at the bar) "Was your father a thief? Because I really would like to have sexual intercourse with you."

thumb_up thumb_down +20

So the word RAPING does not work unless you type it in caps? Raping... Did it censor? No? Never mind then... Wow, catchphra Never mind... Its a sign X-files theme.... Teleports at your house: Hah bitch never you ugly, or not ugly enough... Urgh, nevermind, I mean some ugly chicks know their stuff but you know... Anyway NeroMetal The sociopath not the fucking Cultist piece of shit that use my morals as a code system? YOU THINK WE THE SAME? EEEEEEH! Me raping you says we are not... And ill find you ;) Or your sister or your mom, I mean h0m0? You think im a pervert or something?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

You ever hear that joke about Helen Keller? Neither has she.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the penguin wearing a blue sweater say to the sink? I am a penguin wearing a blue sweater.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Knock knock Who's there? To To whom? No, its To Who now, since I married

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A black man and a mexican are falling off a cliff. Who lands first? The police officer.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

people who spank you sure are a pain in the ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Casey Anthony kills a baby

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the KFC worker dislike his job? He was paid lower than minumum wage due to the plummeting economy.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops