Do you know whats sad? Global Warming Do you know why the polar bears are dying? Aids

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Horse.

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How do you fit four gay men on a bar stool? You build an exceptionally large bar stool

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What's worse than stepping on legos? Massive genocide

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So an African American man and another man of Hispanic, more specifically Mexico, are riding in the backseat of a car, who's driving? Probably their private chauffeurs, but most definitely not someone related to the Police Department.

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This would be racist to black people if they could read.

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John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt has a really long name.

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What's a fun thing to do on a plane? Make a bolt to the pilot, smash his brains in with a iron pipe and make the plane plummet a few hundred feet with a maniacal laugh until you wake up from your dream and scream at your mother to wipe you.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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So, I was walking down the street. As i walked past a oak door an entrance to a mental institution, I heard a bored voice going, "eleven, eleven, eleven". My curiosity, like a cat, got better of me and I decided to take a peek through the key hole and see the eleven things being counted. As soon as I had my eye on the key hole, I was poked in the eye by a metal rod. Startled, I feel back to the street. And, sure enough, heard the same bored voice, going, "twelve, twelve, twelve".

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your dog pooped on my lawn Now my violets are even more blue

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What do you can an astronaut with an apple? Never mind, I have a boner.

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Q- Who is the life of the party? A- hannah schane

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Why did Obama give a speech? Because he is the president and people look up to him

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You're mama's so stupid, she decided to go back to school and finish her degree in Russian Literature to improve her self-esteem and maybe -- just maybe -- save her marriage, which had been on the rocks, mostly due to her intolerable self-loathing.

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A man goes to the till of a 7-11 to buy a 12-pack of condoms. "Busy night?" asks the cashier boldly. The man complains to the store's manager about the cashier's misconduct and she is given a formal warning.

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Why did the black man eat lucky charms? Because it was breakfast time and he was hungry.

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how do you make kindergarteners unhappy? you taze them.

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What did the kid say to the ice-cream Man Can I have a duck please

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how come timmy didnt brush his teeth he didnt have a toothbrush

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Q: What kind of bees make milk? A: None. Bees make honey, not milk.

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A man builds a time machine but can only travel back in time. Where does he go? Irrelevant. Time and space exist on different planes.

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What happened to Johnny when he tripped over his shoelace? He was shot by the man who was following him.

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What do you call kids born in whorehouses? Poor, poor children.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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