A lumberjack wearing women's underwear under his clothes walks into a bar. Several Canadian Mounties stand up and surround him, compliment him on his cooking and offer to go looking for some wild flowers for his herb collection.

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What do a rubix cube and a penis have in common? The more you play with it the harder it gets.

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An insane individual walks into a bank and asks for $500. The teller refuses since he doesn't have an account, so the individual pulls out a gun and asks the teller again. The teller presses the silent panic button, causing the cops to show up and arrest the gunman, but not before he manages to shoot the teller and the small child standing next two counters over.

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Why was Mary mucky? Because she was dragged to a field and raped

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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A blind, black guy walks into a building. Unfortunately it was a secret KKK building and they beat him, raped him and left him to die. Luckily he was found alive and transported to the hospital. To bad the hospital was bombed by Al Queda.

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Women's Soccer.

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Godzilla steps on a bar and orders a Scotch.

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How do you survive the end of the world? You can't- everyone will die!

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Did you hear about the young couple that confused K-Y jelly with window caulking? All their windows fell out.

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your mom is so fat that she had to start going to a gym to exercise and get her weight under control.

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How do you make a small child cry? You cut off his fingers..

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Ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they

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John: what is blue and goes blub blub Phil; I don't know, what? John: a blue blub blub. What is green and goes blub blub Phil; a green blub blub John: no green blub blubs don't exist, what are you stupid?

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Why can't sluts count to 70? Well, slut is a derogative term for prostitutes, and most prostitutes are people that had rough, often traumatising childhoods. Many ran away from home at an early age, thus leaving them devoid of a proper education.

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Why did the fall off the building? ... because I pushed her

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why am i so sexy? I was raised by a dog.

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What do you get if you have a bundle of children's clothing, some moisturising cream, a gas mask, a lollipop, more candy and a bag? A disguise.

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What did the Shark attack victim say just before she died from her injuries? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Haiku's aren't real poems. No body understands them. My soul is burned toast.

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So 2 apples are having sex, and one apple sais to the other, I got worms.

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What did the dad say when the irresponsible goth problem child asked for a gun Yes

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Why? Why Not?

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Knock Knock Who's there? It is actually not a good idea to say "who's there" to the random person outside. The man could be a robber or a murderer, and will realize a person is inside. He could bomb the door down and do anything to kill you. You should look through the window first, or through the little peep hole. If the person outside is an acquaintance, then you can respond. However it is best to not reply and leave the stranger alone. Safety is key to living a happy joyful life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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