What's big and white and can't climb trees? A mattress

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Your momma's so stupid that she was declared mentally retarded by her doctors.

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Why did the man have square fingers? Because he has Apert Syndrome

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Yo momma is so fat, that after boarding an airplane the flight crew respectfully asked her to deboard, as with her on board the plane would be exceeding the reccomended weight, and thus be unable to fly safely.

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You know whats worse than finding 3 dead children in your house? Finding 2 dead children in your house.

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An old man, and his daughter are walking down the street. They are having a nice time, until the daughter turns around to see the old man lying on the ground in pain because of the crippling arthritis in his back that has caused him agony and discomfort for years.

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I had 99 problems Solved them all

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How many squirrels does it take to drive a refrigerator 10 quarts per elephant? Vanilla Cake

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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb? wanna go ride bikes?

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Where do 5 gay guys go????? One Direction.

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What's twelve inches long and makes women scream? Crib death.

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This is supposed to be an anti-joke.

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Why was the mime crying? Her husband died.

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A man walks into a bar, politely orders one drink, sips it while having social conversations with his peers, pays his tab, and goes to take the bus home. I can respect that.

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Can you get me a stapler,but make sure it has staples or else I won't be able to staple anything

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a boy scout wipes his butt with a dollar cause he had no toilet paper then the other boy scout hears him screaming they meet up later and the other boy scout askes why he was scream and the first boy scout says that is hard to wip your butt with 4 quarters.

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What'd the black woman say when she met her husband's white mistress? Hello, nice to meet you.

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KNOCK KNOCK who's there? OUCH! what's your door knob made of? nails?

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how do you get a blonde to stop following you? file a restraining order.

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, He gave me AIDS, And I gave them to you!

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What is worse than being lost in the supermarket? Being lost in space.

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Women, "Did just pinch my ass!?" Man, "Yes." Women, "Oh, alright then."

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What does a female Nazi call a tampon? A twatskika.

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how do u wake up lady gaga? poke her face

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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