"Did you fall from heaven?...Cause your face is really messed up."

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How many police officers does it take to secure 3 hooded black men? However many police are on duty.

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Why did steve cry? Because he got punched.

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There is a blond and a burnette in a car. The blonde is driving. What a nice use of the carpool

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What can be said about a high school drop out who is 30, lives with his mom, and plays WoW all day? He is probably a very high level mage

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Why did the turtle take so long on his run? Because he never went on a run he walked.

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why did the kid struggle in school? because hes mentally retarted

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A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

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A zebra walks into bar, the surrounding customers in the bar become very intrigued why this exotic creature has wandered from Africa into New york. Before they can come to a concluson animal control opens fire on the creature, splatering its organs onto the tables. This event ruined the night for most customers and they fileout of the bar calmly but sad

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why did the Japanese father cry? because when america bombed japan in wwll it happened to kill the rest of his family

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Jellybeans

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Why is my penis so small? No, seriously, can anyone tell me?

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What do you put your key on? A key chain.

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What did the poor family eat for thanksgiving? Food

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A man and a bird are on the edge of a cliff. The man falls off and dies and the bird flies away because birds can fly and people can't.

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What happened when the dinosaur walked into a lake? It got wet

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Legal Mexicans in Texas

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What did the retarded handicap say to the bully who called him the biggest retard in the world? "atleast I didn't make SOPA"

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What did the boy with four arms get for Christmas? A Laptop. Why couldn't he use it? He had no fingers.

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Whats worse than finding an worm in your apple? 1942 BERLIN

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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How did the lazy fat boy burn a lot of calories? He set his fat friend of fire.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Look through your peephole, you lazy bastard.

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If you watch the titanic backwards, its really about a magical ship which saves peoples lives!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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