Why did the chicken cross the playground? Thats what she said

what did the chinese man say to the other asian? he said ??????

Why did Princess Diana die? Because she deserved it!

Why are babies like shake weights? Cause If you shake them long enough, they both end up being inanimate objects.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor

A homeless man begged and begged for a dollar to buy something. A man finally gave him his dollar. What did the hobo buy? Nothing he walked into 711 and then got shot.

I'm on the seafood diet. I eat clams and shrimp because it is healthy for me.

A man lying in bed at night rolls over and starts rubbing his wife's back. She says, "Not tonight, honey, I have a headache." Her husband respected her wishes and went to sleep.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Marla should be home by now, it's nearly 6." He was unaware he had lost his tractor until the next morning.

whats the difference between a dead body and a car with doors that open in a diagnal manner one was never alive to begin with

Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

What did the badger say to the mushroom? BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER MUSHROOM MUSHROOM! BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER ARGH SNAKE! IT'S A SNAKE...

Why was the 18 year old white male late for his college class. On his way to college he got in a car accident and killed 5 people and he walked away unharmed

Hey i just met you. and this is crazy. I sent you my pubes in an envelope.

What do you say on a date with Uma Thurman? Hey Uma, pass the salt.

what did the jew get for christmas? nothing Jewish people don't celebrate christmas

women's rights

What do you call a Russian man who is on the moon? A cosmonaut

How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face!

What would happen if Obama got reelected? The economy would turn to shit.

your mom is so fat, she stepped on the scale and said, "I really need to eat better and I'm thinking about getting a gym membership." She did so, and she lost so much weight that all her friends congratulated her everywhere she went, and some didn't even recognize her.

Your mother is so obese that she has over the recommended daily calorie intake on a regular basis.

Why couldn't the little kid get to sleep? His dog was on fire

Your mom

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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