Do you know what really makes me smile? Facial Muscles.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I hate flowers and am making fun of them by messing up this originally beautiful poem about those repulsive manisfestations of pure evil.

Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and an avacado? Michael Jackson molested a 12 year old boy

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them

Jingle bells, jingle bells, Jingle all the way Oh what fun it is to ride in a poop poop fart turd fart, dildo

I bought a DVD called "the 18 holes of Tiger Woods". It was a fascinating incite into the golfing technique of arguably one of the greatest sportsmen of all time.

Miami Heat.

What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't make for a very good accountant.

What do you call a man with a sack of money running from a bank? A rich man.

why do you often see black man dating fat chick?? because they have the brains to realise that fat chicks are just people and need love too

why did the chicken cross the road? to vote off obama

Why was 6 afraid of 7? It wasn't; numbers cannot experience emotions.

Your mother is so fat that she wears xxxL clothing

how do you get a cow in the fridge? Open the fridge, and insert. How do you get a kangaroo in the fridge? Take the cow out and insert What animal is not in the lion king? kangaroo --WHY hes still in the fridge

Why can't women drive? Actually, they can as long as they legally acquire a driver's license and have no existing restrictions.

Q: why did the chicken cross the road? A: nobody knows, but the road was royally pissed off.

Why was the man unable to get an erection? Because he was a woman

Arent you my dark knight in black armor, you would seriously put your life on the line for my sake?

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a snake in your liver. Because that could be hazardous to your health.

What did the little girl with no arms or legs get for christmas? Cancer.

A man goes to the doctor complaining of pain. Everywhere I touch it hurts, he tells the doctor. "The cancer has spread," the doctor says. "Go home and spend your last days with your loved ones."

What is even bigger than an elephant? A gi-ant! (Wait you did say an anty joke right!?)

Knock Knock. Who's there? The pizza guy. Your pizza's here.

What do you call a three legged man? Horribly deformed

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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