Two penguins are sitting in a bathtub. One looks at the other and says, "Can you pass the soap?" The other penguin says, "What do i look like, a typewriter?"

Theres 3 guys walking and the see a genie. He says hell grant 3 wishes. The first guy asked for sandals. The genie said"I can do that" and he got sandals. The second guy asked for rock hard abs.The genie said,"sure thing".When he looked down, he saw that he had rock hard abs. The third guy asked for a pair of pants."ok" Said the genie. And then he got a pair of pants.

What did the police officer say to the boy in the park? your parents were killed in a car accident.

A frog found a smoking cigarette on the road, so he/she takes it, smokes it, and explodes.

Who's more mean than teacher Hitler

how to u kill a baby with no arms, throw it in a pool

how do you get a cow in the fridge? Open the fridge, and insert. How do you get a kangaroo in the fridge? Take the cow out and insert What animal is not in the lion king? kangaroo --WHY hes still in the fridge

What do u call a guy that loves the color blue? A smurf

Q: why did the chicken cross the road? A: nobody knows, but the road was royally pissed off.

Why was the man unable to get an erection? Because he was a woman

What's bad for your teeth? A brick

What do you call a group of black men jumping off a building? Chocolate Rain

Women are like puzzles. Because prior to 1920 neither had the right to vote. Puzzles still don't

A young christian boy walks into a church and gets raped

What did the man do after a bad day at work? He went home and beat his wife

Why did the murderer buy a lizard? He thought that they were cute.

hi

So its 1945, and these two blonds walk into a bar....I forget the rest of the joke, but Japan ends up getting nuked.

What's better than group sex? Gang rape

A homeless man is hungry. He then kills a college professor and has a nice dinner

Do you know what really makes me smile? Facial Muscles.

How do you keep Helen Keller distracted? Find a stimulating device that blind and deaf people can operate correctly.

What's the difference between a duck A chair Vests have no sleeves

why did the pile of rocks cross the road? they were stuffed down the chickens throat

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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