What do you call a fish with no eyes? Amblyopsidae, or blindfish, commonly found in caves where they are well adapted to life in the dark.

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Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Brian. Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

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So a priest and an atheist sit next to eachother train After talking to eachother for a short period of time, the priest discovers the other man's beliefs and procededs to spend the rest of the ride trying to convert the atheist. Incredibly irritated the atheist gets off the train a stop early to escape the tirade. The next day the atheist sees on tv that the train crashed right after getting off, and the priest is listed amongst the people killed in the accident. He is ecstatic, and says to himself "ha, proof of divine retribution," but then he feels confused because he realizes he doesn't believe in a god...

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You.

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Q. How many pancakes can fit in a dog house? A. 0. Penguins don't like icecream.

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A: Knock knock B: "NOOOO" A: *Comes in, sees masturbating son*

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Lizards are like marshmellows. If you put them in the microwave they blow up.

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What's the difference between a black man and cake? I like cake.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have multiple personality disorder, NO YOU DON'T!

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What's the difference between donuts and dead babies I don't have a pile of donuts in my garage

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What did the little girl with no arms or legs get for christmas? Cancer.

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A man goes to the doctor complaining of pain. Everywhere I touch it hurts, he tells the doctor. "The cancer has spread," the doctor says. "Go home and spend your last days with your loved ones."

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anti-joke teehee

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How do you kill something thats already dead? You don't. It's dead.

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There was a small boy with a lollipop and a spinning hat. He died of lieukemia.

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Have you seen stevie wonders house? Nope... Neither has he

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If you live in the 'living' room, what do you do in the others? You die.

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I Hear Boston Is having a blast.

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A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

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Why doesnt Mexico have a navy? Because cardboard doesnt float.

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knock knock whos there? your mother your mother who? ...........what?

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What is pink and smells like green paint? Pink paint

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when god gives you lemons, you find a new god!

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Joshua Brown was in a dark forest, with a misty haze surrounding him. He turned quickly and flicked his hair out of his face. Dylan Hodge appeared and they had wild sex all night!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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