What did the English teacher write on a sheet of assignment criteria? The assignment criteria. Plus, she spelled "millennium" wrong.

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what did the penguin say to the dodo bird. nothing because dodo birds have bin extinct for thousands of years and it is highly unlikely for a dodo bird to be saying anything to a penguin do to the fact they wouldn't be anywhere near each other and neither species can speak.

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what did the pregnant mexiCAN woMAN say while she was giving birth? A LOT of curse words

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There are two muffins sitting in an oven. One says "boy it sure is hot in here." The other says,"yeah like 350-375"

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A girl walks into a bar. She unfortunately meets a man with a drinking problem. The man takes her home, strips her of her virginity and then beats her with a bat until she can no longer breathe. Her name was Laura Pratz.

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Inquiry: After the specially hired detective in shades of black had managed to finish his secret investigation of the crime scene, what significant affair did he demand and expect to subsequently occur next in the logical chain of events? Answer: A specific transaction of money. To elaborate, immediate providance of previously allotted recompense in the particular configuration of myriad pristine wads of cash.

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why was the boy in his closet? He is hiding because his father beats him because he is gay.

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Two cows are standing in a field. One cow says "MOOOOO!". The other makes an unremarkably similar noise.

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66

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse replies "I have cancer"

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girls basketball

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What is worse than getting mud on your brand new t-shirt? Getting stabbed.

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Come in" "Come in who?"

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what did the little girl do after drinking a smoothie? she choked and died a painful death.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody because a sponge is not a who, it is a what.

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How many Facebook friends does George Bush have? None because he doesn't have a Facebook.

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Why does an Irish cop wear a belt? To hold up his pants.

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What did the deaf Jewish Rabbi say to the Italian Priest. What?

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Why did the fireman wear suspenders? To keep his pants up.

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There was an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman... They all died in a horrible train wreck.

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What's cheese that's not yours? Mine.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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Yo mamma's so stupid, she dropped out of college.

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What do you call a fly with no wings? Joseph

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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