A priest, a rabbi and a shaman walk into a bar. Except there is no rabbi and there is no shaman and the bar is actually my 8th birthday party priest is molesting me. And the priest is my dad. My dad molested me. A lot...

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Knock knock. Who's there? Screw! Screw who? Screw you.

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Why the hell does my sister shower in a swimsuit every time? Its not as if anyone is looking! ALRIGHT! ONCE ALRIGHT? ONLY ONCE! But then she hears the sound of my zipper ONCE and the shit hits the fan! Which is weird, yeah suuure she hears it when I pull it up, but when I pull it down and stroke it and moan? Nada!

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What did the white guy say when a black man punched him? Ow, i am sueing for assault. that is a crime

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? Cuz she had no arms! B I T C H

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My grandfather slipped on a banana peel. I helped him up.

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I went up to my friend and she said to me, "Foop." I calmly went to the nearest teacher and told her that Susie is having a mental breakdown again

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Knock knock. Why do you say the words "knock knock" without actually knocking on the door?

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A black guy walks into a bar. He drinks some wine and exits the bar. -Lets Go Mets, not Yankees

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Q. What happened to the man that kept an open hand? A. He is in jail because he beat his family

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These two guys walk into a bar. You'd think the second guy would've noticed it was there.

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Dude, that's not banana ice cream...

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What did Hellen Keller say when she drove up to the stop sign? Nothing, she doesn't drive.

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Have you seen Stevie wonders new house..... It's ok he hasn't either.

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What do you call a man who kills others for his own amusement? A psychologist

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Stop me if you heard this one before.

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I have 20 dollars and 27 cents. How much money do I have? 20.28$ I found a penny.

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fallow me on twitter #ieatveloceraptorsfordinner

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Knock-Knock Whos there? You You who? Yoohoo! is anybody home?!! Well obviously or i wouldn't have talked to you. Idiots these days!

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Susan went to Chemistry class, Susan is no more. For what she thought was H20 was H2S04 (sulfuric acid.)

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What happens when Chuck Norris jumps in the air? He lands.

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knock knock. no one answered so the man at the door went home.

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What do you call a bunch of white people walking down a cliff? Avalanche

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Why did the young boy die from Aggressive cancer? ...Because there isn't a cure.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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