how do you drown a blonde in a kitty pool? put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom

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A bear walks into a bar..... The bartender asks " what do you want?" , he gets killed by the bear because he started talking to it Made by eli

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An incoming freshman introduces himself to his Ethics professor by saying, "What's up?" To which the professor responds, "You should never end a sentence with a preposition." The freshman, who is both clever and witty, quickly responds to his future Professor, saying: "Professor, I practice linguistic description, such that I observe language objectively in a way that does not adhere strictly to grammatical and syntactic dogma". The professor, surprised by the student's philosophical disposition, engages the student in a highly constructive dialogue about the philosophy of language, from which both the student and teacher learn more about each other and themselves.

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A white man walked into a bar, and an indian walked into a totem pole...

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What did the shy guy say at the speech? Nothing

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What's the difference between Jordan and Time? Time passes!!

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What did the girl say to the guy who poked her on Facebook? You poked me.

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This sentence will not end the way you octopus.

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A loving father took his two children to the park for a picnic. while the children went into the lake for a swim he drowned them both

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How do you scare a little boy? You tell him everyone he loves was shot to death by you and then kick his guardian .

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Kevin: Why can't you hear a pterodactyl urinate? Bob: Because it's extinct? Kevin: No you idiot! The P is silent! Pterodactyl: RAARRGHH! (eats Bob)

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Knock knock: Who's there? Guy in the doghouse. Guy in the doghouse who? WILL YOU LET ME OUT OF HERE?!?

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Why do ducks have flat feet? To stomp out forest fires Why do elephants have flat feet? To stomp out flaming ducks

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What's worse than biting into a worm in your apple? Being run over by a stampede of elephants

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What is the worst place to be in race if you're racing with me Behind me

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A woman says Renae has a butt... Two men say we don't care we have her hammer. True story.

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Why did the Mexican steal a pack of tortillas? To feed his family. He didn't have the necessary funds to pay for it.

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What has hands but isn't alive? A dead person.

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Beth got an aunt farm for her birthday.

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Why are black people so dark? They originated from Africa

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Q: What's the best way to satisfy your hunger A: Eat

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How many dead babies fit in a car? Ask Casey Anthony, she'll probably know.

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A guy walks into a bar and is promptly escorted out because he is only 19 years old.

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Steve: Ask me if I'm a tree. John: Are you a tree? Steve: No.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops