what did the man with Alzheimer's say to his son? who are you!?

Q - What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and a trampoline? A - I take my shoes off when I jump on a trampoline.

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Nero here, nice to see you guys again, now you know why my babbling has been excessive (and pissed at the comments below, but now that the pills are working I am calm) Anyway, yeah point Zero is my "world" now, and its been thriving under my values (something I feared would just work on paper, and if so such beliefs would all been for nothing) As for hero... Well insert something like "I am no hero, I just do what is right" or something cheesy, or... Well, thats what I do really... Since nobody uses this site Ill extend the time you "former followers" can chat, as I got some nice stuff to share, and might just share a bit before I pass away (nah, but I will sleep when tired), I got a lot to do tomorrow.

What's funny about Antijokes.com? Everything

whats the difference between a dead dog and a dead black guy on the road? there is skid marks leading up to the dog.

NO IT IS MINE! ALL MINE!

A man walks into a bar and sits down. The bartender then lights him on fire.

THIS IS NOT SPARTA! *pulls him out of the hole*

Whats's the similarities between an apple and a cat? They both have legs except for the apple.

What is 5 brittish guys who can't sing and horrible music make .... one direction

Once upon time the government was corrupt Jk, it always has been

What do a fish and a bird have in common? They both live under water. Apart from the bird.

What do you call a Jew picking up a quarter on the street? A very nice man because a homeless man just dropped that and he was trying to return it. Rob W

Miscarriages.

What do you call a fly with no wings? Disabled

whats the difference between a male porsche driver and a porcupine? with porcupines,the pricks are on the outside.

Q: What did the dog say to the owner when he took him to the vet? A: Nothing. It's a dog. It can't talk.

Sarah lost both arms in a car accident Knock knock Who's there? Not sarah. Roses are red Violets are blue Wow. Clever Knock knock Who's there? Still not Sarah, as she is in a serious condition at her local hospital, and so is fighting for her life.

What did the father give to his son with terminal cancer for his 5th birthday? Nothing the kids going to die anyway

What's worse than winning a gold medal at the special olympics? Not being retarded.

How many Jews can you fit in a car? 10. 3 in back, 2 up front and the rest in the ash tray.

A Russian drinking something other than vodka.

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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