A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, didn't you read the sign on the front door? It says, "People with suits on will not be served." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

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What did the deaf guy say to the other deaf guy? Nothing.

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Why did FiddleBob Joe chuck a stick of butter out the window? Because he wanted to see a butter fly

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What happened to the boy who ate too much? He got type 2 diabetes

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My friend was driving me home from a party, and was quite drunk. I was relieved that we did not get into a car crash.

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Did you hear about the Polish submarine? It was one of five in the Polish Navy.

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What starts with Pu and ends with Y, And homosexuals tend not to like them. "Pushy" People.

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There are two muffins in an oven neither can say anything at the moment, however, because both are in excruciating pain.

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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What is worst than 1 baby dead in a microwave? 2 babies dead in the same microwave !

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Why was the boy crying? Because he had previously driven over innocent civilians who were all constipated and had now caused a mild to extremely large shitstorm.

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A student asks a teacher: Sir, how much time would it take for me to do this quiz. Teacher says: From the second I give you this test to the second you hand it back to me.

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Why did the black man cross the road? To get to the barber shop, which was located on the other side of the road. He then walked to the crosswalk, patiently waited, then crossed when the little person lit up.

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someone says they've been "dying laughing"... no they haven't; they're quite capable of still breathing and functioning in every day life.

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Its not a big mistake at all, if people do not want to get hypnotized you cant hypnotize them, or so I thought...

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I kinda said I did not want to know, sooo... Want to meet up tomorrow? Like for realsies? In that case tell me first (then show me tomorrow as proof), your cough... Vagina, I dont care if its shaven or not, but does it have red hair?

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why did the mushroom go to the party? because he`s a fungi

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Knock Knock. (No answer) Knocker: " I guess the resident of this home isn't home at this hour."

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A woman walked into a college.....which wasn't suprising because she never learned to read

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What happened to The Guy when he got pissed on he was wet

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why was the man afraid of the tree? Because it ate his mother!!!!!!

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What do you call someone who sits on anti joke every day? Luke Skywalker

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What would Abraham Lincoln do if he were alive today? Scream and scratch at the lid of his coffin.

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What do you call a man in Afghanistan? Either a scuicide bomber a soldier or a tep

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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