Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first muffin turns to the second and says "it sure is getting hot in here!". The second muffin looks over and responds "this makes no sense - we shouldn't be capable of speech, let alone self-awareness." "We probably should try to get out of here, though."

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Why could'nt Boris fit in with the other kids? His name was Boris.

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So a priest and an atheist sit next to eachother train After talking to eachother for a short period of time, the priest discovers the other man's beliefs and procededs to spend the rest of the ride trying to convert the atheist. Incredibly irritated the atheist gets off the train a stop early to escape the tirade. The next day the atheist sees on tv that the train crashed right after getting off, and the priest is listed amongst the people killed in the accident. He is ecstatic, and says to himself "ha, proof of divine retribution," but then he feels confused because he realizes he doesn't believe in a god...

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I went to see a fight and all of a sudden a hockey game broke out.

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A man walks into a bar. "Ouch!" he shouted after he stubbed his toe on a table.

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you say "ask me if im a tree" he says "r u a tree?" you say"no..." then just stare at them

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so a baby seal walks into a club...

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What color is a banana? yellow.

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Why did the black man shoot everyone? Because he is black

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A teenage boy walks into a bar, he doesn't even know he's slowly drinking his life away

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what did batman Say to robin before they got into the car? get in the car

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I Hear Boston Is having a blast.

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Why doesnt Mexico have a navy? Because cardboard doesnt float.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I like to sniff your hair when you are asleep.

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What is bright yellow and tastes like Gatorade? Antifreeze

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Yo mama is so fat that her dietician often recommends that she decrease her calorie intake and exercise more often to avoid risk of diabetes or potentially a stroke.

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A girl walks into a bar. She unfortunately meets a man with a drinking problem. The man takes her home, strips her of her virginity and then beats her with a bat until she can no longer breathe. Her name was Laura Pratz.

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Two cows are standing in a field. One cow says "MOOOOO!". The other makes an unremarkably similar noise.

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A horse walks into a bar... Horses are not indigenous to China.

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A horse walked into a bar, broke its leg and its owner then had to put it down because it was a racing horse and the owner did not have enough money to bring the horse back to health. Fuck you.

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What do super heroes say after they beat the villain? Nothing, super heroes are not real.

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Whats orange and has stripes? - a tiger

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What did one platypus say to the other? Whatever noise platypuses make. I'm not sure. I am sure that they lay eggs though.

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if a black man, a Chinese man, and an Indian were about to jump off the Eiffel tower, who would hit the ground first? who cares?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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