the best time to wear a striped sweater is all the time

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What's sadder than a lost puppy? A dead puppy.

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Q: what do you call a camel with a garbage bag on its head? A: A ziploc baggie

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to hit with a sledgehammer and the other is a watermelon.

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What did the underaged man say when he walked in the bar? He asked for a Coke.

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A blonde walks into a bar a uses the restroom. She needed to pee.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting thrown in to a car and raped violently.

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If you're American outside of the bathroom, then what are you inside the bathroom? An American inside of a bathroom.

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How did the girl get rid of a fever? She took medicine.

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Why is this joke hilarious? Because it isn't.

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What did the boy say to the girl seductively eating a banana? A: bananas are my favorite fruit

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My dad said that if I post anymore jokes on this website, the will hit my head against the keyboaaskdnaji;nsd;asdnasd;

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Your mother's so ugly she has low self-esteem

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Why did Kelly lose all interest in men? An aneurysm in her brain popped

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Why was the boy crying? Because him and his sister were sent to an orphanage.

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Who are the faster readers? New Yorkers, they through 110 stories in 5 seconds

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Playing hide and seek with Dennis Ferguson

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There is a very old lady at the bottom of a long flight of steep stairs with a large amount of groceries piled up in her hands. How did she make it to the top?? She walked.

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Joesph Triphook.

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Abbie im pretty sure your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory

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Why wouldn't Michael J. Fox make a good Sniper? Because he has no military experience.

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knock knock! whos there? me! me who? thats right! whats right? meehoo! thats what i want to know! whats what you want to know? me who? yes, exactly! exactly what? yes, i have an exactlywatt on a chain! exactly what on a chain? yes! yes what? no, exactlywatt! thats what i want to know! i told you--exactlywatt! exactly what? yes! yes what? yes, its with me! whats with you? exactlywatt--thats whats with me! me who? yes! Go away! knock knock.....

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You always hear of the 9/11 stories where people who work in the World Trade Centers were late that day or home sick or whatever. My mom also worked there. It was a normal morning, got up to make us breakfast, got us to school on time, the whole bit. After having to do all that stuff, she actually got to work on time, and she died in the attack.

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why cant dinosaurs talk? because they're all dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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