What is the only day of the year when you're guaranteed to find me? The day I kill you.

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Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He died

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What do Michael Jordan and Michael Jackson have in common? The same first name.

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Why was lady crying? Because her ten yer old son died of cancer..

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side -Tag

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What did the stick of butter say to the lemon? "I'm a stick of butter"

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knock knock who's there? to to who? to whom*

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm gonna f*ck you with a rake.

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Why do people poke people on facebook? Because they have no friends and will die alone

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A man walked into the woods... Sorry, I forgot the rest of the joke...

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If we had some ham, we could have ham and eggs; if we had some eggs.

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knock knok whos there? Jacob Jacob who? U know, your friend!

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What do you call a mexican man working at a Taco Bell? A young man freshly out of high-school, who could not get into college because his family is sadly struck with poverty. He also has a baby on the way, due to his poor choice of not using protection when having relations with his girlfriend while he was intoxicated. I wish him the best of luck!

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selena gomez & justin beiber go in space. selena says im hotter than the sun. the way she knows this information is that she is near the sun at this time justin beiber has already drifted off in space.

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A turtle and a rabbit are having a race. The rabbit goes really fast and sees the turtle so far away. So the rabbit takes a short nap and waits for the turtle for a little challenge. Suddenly the rabbit wakes up and sees the turtle about to cross the finish line. The rabbit runs as fast as he can, but it was too late. A bus runs them over and they both die.

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A. What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew: B. Pizza's don't scream when you put them into a oven.

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What happened when the dinosaur walked into a lake? It got wet

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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What's a dead baby look like? I don't know, I don't fap with my eyes open.

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What's the difference between a baby and an onion? One is a vegetable and the other is a human being.

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Know whats worse than a worm in your apple? Getting fridges thrown at you.

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What did the fat kid eat for dinner? Salad, he's on a diet.

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I shot a bitch.

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What did the man get on his birthday the week before he died? Obamacare

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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