Where did all the time go? In a recent study, 100% of all time, all systems go.

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What’s brown, sticky and smells like poo? Shit!!

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A: Knock knock. B: Who's there? A: Banana! B: Not you again..(slams door)

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Have you heard of Helen Keller's dog? No. Neither has she

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Yo Mama is so stupid, she was riding her bike down the street when she was distracted and rode off a cliff. Oh crap I am so sorry.

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Q: Whats Faster than a bullet A: A Jew chasing coin

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What do you call a dead blond in a closet? A homicide victim.

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Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because it's delicious.

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What is black and white and red all over? A zebra that has been shot, because poaching is quite common in many African savannas.

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womens sports...

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Two cannibals are eating around a fire in the jungle, and one turns to the other and says "Does this taste funny to you?" Oh yeah, and they're eating a clown.

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3 aliens landed on earth. They all wanted to learn english. The first alien went to an opera class and learned "mi mi mi mi mi." The second alien went to a military camp and learned "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The third alien went to a candy shop and learned "he stole my lollipop!" After all of that, they went to their spaceship and saw a dead man and a cop that said, "which one of you three killed this man?" The first alien said "mi mi mi mi mi." The cop said "what did you kill him with?" The second alien said "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The cop then said "why did you kill him?" The third alien said "he stole my lollipop!"

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How do you have sex with the blue waffle? stick your penis inside

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What do you get when you cross a rhino and an elephant? Two angry pachyderms.

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Why was the thirteen year old raped by an online predator? Because he made very poor choices on giving out his personal information.

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What is worse than getting mud on your brand new t-shirt? Getting stabbed.

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Reduce, reuse, recycle Anti-joke.com

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What did he hellen keller say to her dad ? Nothing she cant talk

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A man walks into a bar said man is escorted out of said bar said man may have died from a serious case of alcohol poisoning whilst in said bar he was escorted as dead people have trouble moving of their own accord experts discovered later that the man had actually been brutaly beaten by another man wielding a bar stool this shows that experts are not very smart

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How many hispanics does it take to screw in a light bulb. One. Just one. You just screw it in, it's not that complicated.

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What did the little girl with no arms or legs get for christmas? Cancer.

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a little boy told his friend he failed a test.. the friend replied that his parents r goin to kill him... to save himself the suffering ...the boy hung himself in his closet

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

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Why did the man scream? He got his dick caught. In the zipper.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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