Knock knock. Who's there? It's the police, mam. We need to speak to you about your son Robert. It's the police, mam. We need to speak to you about your son Robert who? Mam, he was in an accident. Could you open the door please?

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Yo mama so fat and ugly, I don't want to tell you how fat and ugly she is for fear of vomiting.

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Q. What is a deaf man's favorite song? A. Nothing, because he can not hear.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is an active member of a taliban.

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A grandma says come on twinkies and the teinkies say were terriosts from your lost hole

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What do skeet disks and Jewish babies have in common? Hitler used to shoot them out of the sky.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? I don't remember the rest of the joke but your mom's a whore.

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What do you call a black man who is great at basketball? An all-star

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How many Mexicans does it take to cross the border? Don't answer, just think and laugh.

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A guy walks into a bar, and says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Where did Adolf go as a vacation after the war? Hell

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womens rights

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What happened when the Asian girl got an 89 on her Test? Her parents kicked her out of their house.

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What starts with C and ends with UNT. Ciretrunt

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Eh yo Sean u mr. Kingston Hey, how are you doing?

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Why doesnt snow like Asians? Snow is a form of precipitation within the Earth's atmosphere in the form of crystalline water ice, consisting of a multitude of snowflakes that fall from clouds. Since snow is composed of small ice particles, it is a granular material. It has an open and therefore soft structure, unless packed by external pressure. Snowflakes come in a variety of sizes and shapes. Types which fall in the form of a ball due to melting and refreezing, rather than a flake, are known as graupel, ice pellets or snow grains. Therefore since snow is unhuman they are then thus incapable of emotions because they lack any vitals organs.

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why did'n the baby wake up from his nap? because he was dead

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never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down

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A boy walks into his friend's house for a party. While he waits for his friends to return from the bar he realizes there are many people waiting in different lines for various kinds of drinks. After his friends return he decides he does not want any of the carbonated drinks they had ordered, instead he chooses to wait in the fruit punch line. There is no punch line.

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whats the difference between sand and period blood? You cannot gargle sand.

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An airplane's engine suddenly blows up in the middle of its flight. The pilot turns around and sees a blonde and a brunette. He turns to his right and sees only two parachutes. The pilot says "Ok guys, only two-" Then the plane blows up.

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Q: What do you call a Chelsea fan on the moon? A: A Problem. Q: What do you call 100 Chelsea fans on the moon? A: An even bigger problem. Q: What do you call all the Chelsea fans on the moon? A: Problem solved hahaha Q: What would you get if Newcastle were relegated? A: 45,000 more Chelsea fans

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Whats the difference between a jew and firewood? Firewood is meant to be burned in a stove or firepit while jews are functioning members of society.

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3 black guys walk into a restaurant and they sat down, ate their meals, and even tipped the waitor handsomely then for about 10 minutes they talk and then leave restaurant. Soon after a white guy comes and holds up the place for all it's money then killing three hostages before being taken down by the police.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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