Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Parkinsons, ;oshgfs;jgbRHG

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What did the doctor say to the young boy? We only planned on a annual checkup but have discovered that your and aids baby and only have 3 days to live. Tell your family members goodbye you'll be on life support in the next couple hours.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms

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I walked up to my friend who's a drug addict holding a can of coke. I then told said friend that I liked the smell of coke. My friend then went on to snort 27 Kilos of cocaine.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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A train conducter conducts goes at 60mph, when he goes under a bridge he goes at 52mph. When he goes over a hill he goes at 47mph. If he goes under 3 bridges and over 6 hills what did the conductors mother eat for dinner that night. Nothing, after many months of suffering she died from Huntington's disease.

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knock knock whos there boo boo who? stop crying its only me! its not you, my mom has cancer, my dad was killed in a car accident, my pregnant wife has been murdered, and my uncle touches me.

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What's worse than dying in the holocaust Dying on the last day of the holocaust

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Knock knock. Who's there It's Jim O ok come on in

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had Gonorrhea.

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Why the moron throw the clock out the window? Because he was a moron.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one.

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What is the cow doing? Because 7,8,9

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A 21 year old man walks into a bar. After looking at the menu for a minute he orders the cocktail of the day. The bartender looks at the man in disbelief because he has such a baby face and looks like a teenage kid. The bartender politely asks to see his ID. The man pulls out his wallet and shows him his drivers license. Sure enough he was the legal age of drinking. The bartender says "Thank you" and gives him his beverage.

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whats funnier than a joke? A: a funnier joke

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Why didn't the giraffe go to the zoo party? He didn't receive an invitation.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it can do whatever the hell it wants

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Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, I have a retinal hemorrhage

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your bike.

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What did the single woman get for Christmas? Raped.

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Why does the Taliban forbid people from having sex standing up? It might lead to dancing. And then, of course, death.

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was gonna write a really funny "anti-joke" about two dogs and some spagetti but decided instead to tell you about how hard my life is and how much i hate getting up in the morning and just keep you wondering about the spaggetti and the dogs while i kill myself and it all a sudden makes sense as the two dogs are eating my shattered brain that looks like spaggetti wich leaves me wondering , am i spelling spaggetti right?

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why did the man jump out of the plane without a parachute? Im not really sure, maybe to commit a slow and painful suicide.

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Justin Bieber tries to get into a club but is not allowed because he is to young.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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