What has two legs but can't walk A paraplegic

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A man finds an antique lamp at a garage sale. He takes it home and polishes it, and a majestic genie materializes. The genie thanks the man for freeing him from excruciating slavery, shakes his hand, and returns home to his overjoyed family.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q: If you see a gipsy drowning, what will you throw him?! A: His family.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

why did i come to this site i was doing a school easy about the anti-apartheid movement

thumb_up thumb_down -20

oh, you have a baby on board? I'll just drive into the the car next to you...

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Grease is the word that you heard it's got groove it's got meaning

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the commentor say when he saw the "waht's worse than finding a worm in your apple...the holocaust." joke? I am offended to your cruel referance to worms.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the kI'd with cancer get for Christmas? A coffin.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Laugh.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A woman walks up to a man in a supermarket and asks him where she can find the potatos. He says "I think they are all the way at the end on aisle 3" "Thanks" she says. Then she gets to aisle 3, and there aint no potatos!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Q-if you are what you eat ,does that make you cannibal? A- yes

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the boy get at the bowling alley for his birthday? a corpse. *from Bones

thumb_up thumb_down -22

60+8.99999999=68.99999999 soo close

thumb_up thumb_down -22

why did the asian wearing a sombrero buy orange juice at 2am? because hes trying to stay sober and do away with alcohol for good because its ruining his family and he wants to be a good father and husband.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

why did the man shoot himself in the foot? because he didnt have the safety on and he had no gun handling skills.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

why did Bernard have a bold because I ripped his Mohawk

thumb_up thumb_down -22

shut up elliot

thumb_up thumb_down -22

whats worse than a worm in your apple..? getting shot..

thumb_up thumb_down -22

one time, a fancy business man walked into a bar. but then he figured out that he wasnt supposed to be there. so he politely apologized to the mortician an and he granted him permission to exit the closet.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What happens when you drive down the road? you get to the end of the road

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the mother do when she found out the baby was stillborn? Gave it a proper burial, grieved for months and became a shell of her former self.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

OH MY LUMPIN GOD!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti deep thoughts, by Fabian Monge'. The other day while parked at a stop light i was looking in the rear view mirror at the person who was blowing his horn at me. I then realized that while i was looking back at him the light had been green for a while. I then thought that i had better drive forward because i was holding up traffic, and that it was very selfish of me to waste other peoples time like that while wondering what was going on behind me instead of what was happening in front of me. In the time it took for me to come to this conclusion, i had wasted another few seconds of someones time. How very selfish of me.....

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's the difference between a soldier and a black man? A black man lives a normal life, probably working a full time job to bring income to his family. A soldier has seen his friends killed right before his very eyes, has probably killed, and most likely has night terrors accompanied by the sounds of gunshots and grenades. He will suffer trauma up until he dies of a heart attack in his mid 80's after experiencing a terrifying flashback of life in the war.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops