What's worse than dividing by zero? Chuck Norris dividing your face!

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How do you know if elephants are watching a movie? If a Volkswagen Beetle is parked outside the movie house.

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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why wouldn't the printer work? because there was an animal in it.

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A man walks into a bar. He drinks then comes home to his whole family murderd and mutilated

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It died from chlamydia.

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- Wanna see a magic trick? - Sure - Too bad. I don't know any.

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What does an Ethiopian hula-hoop with? A Cheerios JimBoto

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Roses are red Violets are red Your flowers are red Yes set your garden on fire

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your mother is so obese, that she really should look into eating a well balanced diet and taking part in an excercise plan that suits her

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What did the korean guy order at the deli? A sandwich

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Im gay What about you

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What's a good way to kill time? It's impossible to kill an inanimate object.

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Q. If you're paddling up river and you lose three tires, how many pancakes does it take to cover a doghouse? A. Purple because ice cream has no bones.

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Guess what what?? chicken butt!!!!!

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How can you tell if your roomate is gay? If he gets an erection when you have anal sex with him.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? To get to the other side!

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If monkeys ate trees, than what would trees be made out of? No one knows because that will never happen.

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? this overused joke

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What did the clinically depressed man get for Christmas? He received many of splendid gifts and a joyous day with his family. He realized that his life isn't so bad after all, and went home with his head held high. He was then eaten by a vicious looking 7.

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Why was the tree sad? Trees cannot think or move, and thus cannot feel emotions.

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What's worse than 100 dead babies stapled to a wall? 100 live babies stapled to the wall!!!

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Knock-Knock Whos there? You're about to get shell shocked...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops