Why did the airplane crash? The pilot was a tomato.

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Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and broke its head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be very mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

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-Knock Knock - Who's there? - Child Protective Services, we have multiple reports of you abusing several of your children...

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Why should you never trust anglers? Because they're always into fishy business... Why should you never trust hunters? Because they carry loaded guns...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause he felt like it.

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Some anti-jokes are funny, some are not!

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Knock-knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Knock-knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Knock-knock Who's there? Banana Banana who? Banana you glad I didn't say banana?

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What do you call a black man eating fried chicken? By his name, which could be John, considering the popularity of said name.

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How do you make a clown cry? Kill his family

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Q: How do you confuse more than 80% of the population? A: Mushrooms.

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Why didnt the homeless man eat the cheese? Because he died right before he ate it. :-(

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A old man walks into a hospital He doesn't come back out

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the chipmunk fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

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A doctor tells a guy: "I have bad news. You have Alzheimer's, and you have cancer." Guy says, "Thank God I don't have cancer."

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: In order to avoid being mauled by a coyote.

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Q. What do you call a deceased rodent A. Deadmau5

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What did the strawberry say to the strawberry? Nothing because strawberries are fruit and can't talk

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How do you annoy a farmer? Shoot his wife.

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What's red, hairy, and squishy? Helen Keller in a blender.

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How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

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Shaving your balls is just plain nuts!

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What's blue and smells like red paint? That blue guy from Megamind.

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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Roses are red violets are blue, he is for me and not for you, he's too ugly you can have him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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