Why did the girl scream for help? She was being raped.

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why did the mexican cross the road? to get to the lawn mowing shop becuase his wife has breast cancer, and he cant pay the bills sitting on his butt and getting a check from the government every month

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If a blonde and a brunette fell off a cliff who would reach the ground first? The blonde because she was fatter.

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There were 3 guys named Sean, Ryan, and Eye. They were best friends. However, things escalated when Eye slept with Sean's girlfriend and Ryan found out. Ryan felt he had to tell Sean that Eye slept with Sean's girlfriend. Ryan went up to Sean and said "Dude, Eye slept with your girlfriend!" Then Sean shot Ryan in the head before Ryan realized what he had said. Game Over

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

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I Have a Black Friend

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Where's my tractor

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Life gave me onions. Onionaide Sucks

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: In order to avoid being mauled by a coyote.

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Roses are red, Sometimes they're white. Or pink. Or yellow. There are roses of many colors.

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What do you call a black man with a speech impediment? By his name.

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The man that loved birds so much that he played golf just to get a birdie.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a women.

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Roses are red, Violets are microwaves, I have amnesia, Roses are red.

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Q. what's red and smells like blue paint A. a dead baby in a trash can beside a foster home

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Why didn't the teen girl get to her appointment? A) She woke up late.

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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What do you call a mexican with a broom in his hand? a man who likes to keep his office at his own company clean

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What's yellow, long, hard, and moves up and down? A banana in an elevator...

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? A guy in mud.

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I used play skyrim...but then I realsied I had a lot of exams so I had to stop

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Why couldnt the dog bark? The dog didnt exist.

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Why did they monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

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Friends are like balloons When you stab them they die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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