A Priest, a Rabbi, and Santa Claus are on a plane. This is impossible because Santa Claus does not exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A horse walks into a bar. The barman immediately calls the local stable to report the missing stallion, and his owner promptly arrives to take him home. He thanks the landlord and offers a small reward, but it is respectfully declined.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

you.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How do you stop a run-away bus? You sit down in the driver's seat and gently place your foot on the brake pedular and proceed to press it down. The brake pads, located in the calipers, will squeeze the brake discs and slow the bus eventually to stop at the crosswalk for the old lady accompanied by a young boy scout to cross the street and continue their wonderful lives.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

why did the chicken cross the road ??? why would you care??

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you call a black man jumping out of a plane? A skydiver

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the child drop it's lollipop? Because they got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Two muffins are in an oven. They are then baked at 375 for about 30 minutes and then taken out to cool.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Jesus wept.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

The big problem with politicians is they're always lying but fortunately there's always a moment when it's not a problem anymore. When they do it down in their tombs.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

why did the banana go to the doctor? answer: he wasnt peeling well lollolololloololololololololololololooolololololololol i just fell of my dinosaur

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Haikus are awesome, but sometimes they dont make sense. Refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Q: What do you call an aligator in a vest A: Investigator

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What a vase and a cheeseburger have in common? It has it's price.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

How do you make a man sit down? Hold him at gunpoint.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

roses are red violets are blue you look like a monkey lets take you to the zoo if by chance you try to escape ill take my fist and smash your little monkey face! btw i made this up if you use it ill kick your nuts!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +105

A blind man walks into a bar Backs up, and walks around it.

thumb_up thumb_down +101

Knock knock Who's there? That that that. What makes you say that?

thumb_up thumb_down +87

What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

thumb_up thumb_down +81

Why was the man sad after mowing is lawn? He ran over his dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +71

whats worse than losing your pet rock? having your dog run over buy a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

Q: What did the mime say to the crowd gathered at the crime scene? A:

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Why was the chicken mad? Because he was sick of everyone questioning him even when he crossed the road.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops