Chuck Norris can watch TV.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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Skittles are tasteless. Why? You can't taste the rainbow.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Animal cruelty

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Why did the blond fall of the ladder? She had no arms.

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What's black, white,and red all over? A crime scene where a black and white man were brutally murdered by a psychopath that is still on the loose and could be killing someone else.

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What happened to the boy who fell off the swing? He got hurt.

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What did the girl get for her birthday? Nothing...cause she died

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Have you heard of Helen Keller's dog? No. Neither has she

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What did the peach say to the apple? Nothing. Peaches can't talk.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I got a terminal disease and I'm going to die in six months. Mom if you're reading this I love you. Take good care of Joey.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Cheese.

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What did the African boy get for his Christmas present for the first time? Leprosy

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2 ducks walk into a bar. The first orders a drink, drinks it, and drops dead. The other duck said, "Bar tender! What did you put in my friends drink?" The bar tender said, "Poison."

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what is not funny? This joke.

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff

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The pope and three young boys get into a cab. The pope tells the driver to take the boys home.

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What did the idiot call his pet zebra? Charlie. The fact that the man is an idiot is irrelevant.

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What is black, white and red all over? A nun in a blender

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Why did the boy on stilts pick up the phone? Because it was ringing.

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Are you from Tennessee? cuz i wanna makeout with your face.

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Ever since I've been using chloroform as cologne I've been getting laid a lot.

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How do you get a one-armed Polak out of a tree? Get a ladder and carry him down.

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Q: What is a African man with funny clothing and children straddling onto his back for dear life/ screaming in fear who only a few minutes ago before a particular incident made several young children cry and being chased by an authority figure? A: An intentionally inane circus performer partcipating in a scintillating rendition alongside his two children of who inadvertently frightened a small group of youth before he immediately decided to proceed by, during one of his extremely long, albeit few breaks, taking the members of his family on an interesting excursion to the nearby amusement park for occassional thrills. On the initial journey there, the black man, out of haste, accidentally dropped one of his children's most valuable toys of which elicited undeniably obnoxious bouts of sadness to come bursting out of his children's respective chests and an increased rate-of-travel for his wife of who accopanied him on his adventure and desired to assist him in his panic. In the spin of events, the man experienced an instance of hyper-activedness and spun out of control for a minute before eventually cooling down. Hence the screaming.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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