How do you make a clown stop smiling? Hit him in the face with an axe.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Why are you bored? because fungus grows in your eyeballs so you try to stab it out but you end up blind and dead lol

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Kitana vs Shao Kahn. Kitana: HIAHIAHIAHIA...etc Kahn: You weak pathetic whor... OARGH! Kahn: FINISH ME!!! Kitana: Dad? Again? Okay the last time then... Kahn: I just addopted you you FUC... Oargh Oargh Oargh Oargh Oargh... OOF!! OFF!! OFF!! OFF! Kitana: *slurp okay no more for you I am uh... full, seriously, Ill explode or some other Fatality... Woody Allenality... Kahn: Kontinue? (press start to kontinue free play mode)

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What did the duck say to the pickle? Quack

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What do you call a black scuba diver... A scuba diver.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Nothing he died.

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Whats brown and can't ride a bike? A lampshade.

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So a Jewish Family wakes into a German Pizzeria. They were very satisfied with the service and ended up tipping the waiter 20%

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Q: which of the following is a prime number? A: 17

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1: Knock knock. 2: Who's there? 1: Boo. 2: Please do come on in Boo, its so lovely to see you!

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PROS = good things CONS = bad thing So, if PROgress is a good thing...then why is the US government call CONgress?

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Mine.

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You know whats funny Aids

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They say you are what you eat, but i don't remember eating a big bowl of sexy.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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whats worse than a baby in a dumpster? A baby in ten dumpsters.

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What did the T Rex say to the pterodactyl? ROIRWR!!!

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What was in the magical purple teapot? Two dying pelicans.

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what do you call a blonde who can't drive? a poor driver

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What do you call a man that likes to play baseball? A Baseball Player.

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flavin's head

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Why did the two children go sledding? Because they liked to sled.

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What's the difference in a big brother and a wee brother? Ones big, ones small.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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