Whats long and hard and women like to suck on them? A popsicle or long lollipop

god made the sea god helped invent the first wheel but as you know he also made me a really big deal !

What happened after the man with no arms and legs lost his keys? He called the police.

FUCK YOU

what do you call a seagull that flies over the bay? -a seagull

Where do bees go to the bathroom? In the hive - they're incontinent.

Forward this anti-joke to at least 15 people And absolutely nothing extraordinary will happen in the next 10 minutes.

Whats the difference between Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga? one of them is a women the other one is not.

man1:did you know hellen keller had a dog? man2: no man1: neither did she

I'll take a Reuben, light sauce, and could you do Provolone instead of Swiss?

Again, what is it called when you are safely inside at winter your power is out, but the streets are full of people as the weather gets really bad and people start bouncing around? Blizzard Entertainment. What is it called when a robot lets out gas? Electronic fArts.

Two swallows migrate to Africa. One swallows initiates the conversation, that's when the other catch fire.

What's worse than being raped? Finding out it was your uncle.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? There are many things that could be considered worse than finding a worm in one's apple. In addition, the matter of better or worse depends upon the point of view of the person in question, so what is worse than finding a worm in one person's apple may be preferable to finding a worm in another person's apple.

How do you make a person dissapear? You can't that would break the laws of physics, so therefore rendered impossibe.

What a person such as you would say. Anyway, did you notice how I started by emulating your way of typing, spelling, spacing and so on?

A rabbi, a nun, and a homosexual walk into a bar. They proceed to get drunk, and party like its 1972. Oh yeah. And your dad was just killed by a refrigerator.

Where does Mario go after you finish the game? Drug rehab.

Why didn't Michael J. Fox feel the Virginia earthquake? He was on vacation in Maui.

A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says "Hey, we've got a drink named after you!". The grasshopper turns and says "You've got a drink named Steve?"

why did the onion fall out of the bag? ...there was a hole in the bag so the onion fell out

What did Helen Keller do at a concert? Sit.

Jack and Jill went up the hill. Jill was dehydrated.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...