Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds and it better be there!!" The next morning he got up early and told his wife to come to the driveway. He quickly pulled out a .44 Magnum and murdered her violently. The marriage had been a nightmare ever since they lost their unborn child, and the situation pushed Bob to a place, where he could no longer look at his wife.

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Q. How do you make your neighbor mad? A. Run his kids over.

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Q. what has 2 tums and a boner. A. a horny guy <3

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What's white, black and tan? The people of planet earth.

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. HAHAHAHA I have control of you I don't enjoy that picture.

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When time is the best time to make a wish during the day? 9:11

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have you ever heard of the mexican that went to college...no...oh me neither

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The hooker walks into a bar wearing a vest and tight denim shorts. A drunken man proceeds in trying to have his way with her. He is thrown out for sexual mis-conduct and is currently waiting for his court date.

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Guess who is violent. Osama

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What's puby and dandruffy? Aodhan Hearty

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Oh no my baby is dead. Ha.

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hey timmy, wanna go to Disneyworld?! tough. *10 seconds later* still no timmy

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What is the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? I take my cleats off when I jump on trampolines

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven raped six's mom.

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Rush Limbaugh

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one bright morning in the middle of the night two dead boys got up to fight back to back they faced each other drew thier swords and shot each other a deff policeman heard this noise came and shot the two dead boys if you dont believe this lie is true ask the blind man he saw it too

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Why did the car get sucked up by the tornado? Because it was in Pilger, Nebraska.

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What's worse then getting kicked in the face by Chuck Norris? A: Nothing

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Why can't a blonde swim? Because in this economy her parents never took her to a pool in which she could get swimming lessons and practice to be able to be a good or maybe great swimmer.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on the training and hence productivity of the babies.

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What is yellow and writes? -A Ball Point Banana!

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There's a black guy in a house. What's he doing there? He owns it.

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A blind man accidentally walks into a gay bar. The bartender escorted him out and pointed him in the right direction.

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Guys, I think I'm gonna apply to join the Crips. My SAT score is a 2050, and their average score is a 2200. My GPA, however, is a 4.6, and their average is only a 4.2. Do you guys think that they will take me? Or should I try and apply for the Bloods?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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