How do wake up Lady Gaga You Poker her face

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why does king kong so fat? because he eats to much

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What's the difference between me and a dead baby? I'm not dead, or a baby. I am well into my teens and very healthy.

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What couldn't the stereotypical pirate get into the movie? Well, considering that the stereotypical pirate existed in the sixteenth to eightteenth centuries and the first motion picture wasn't made until the mid to late nineteenth century, also the technology for time travel does not exist nor has it ever, I would have to derive that he was not let in due to the fact that there was no way for him to ever exist at the same time that a movie would have been playing.

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a young mother calf named near reality was milking itself and selling it at pathmark everyday for high prices he got a lot of money out of it and bought a big mansion where he also had a farm and collected prize show cows to show off to all of his cow friends.... he also bought gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons of prize show cow milk to drink to and build up energy for the cow show race coming up in the near fall. Every sunset he buys loads of milk to drink and feed his plants with. He plants lots of grass every day to eat and produce high quality milk goods. He was a wii, ps3, and xbox360 to play everyday and excercise his udder milk.

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Whats better than pizza? Pepperoni pizza, if you like pepperoni that is.

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Chuck Norris can watch TV.

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Why did the girl buy wine? She was hosting a party for four of her closest friends.

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My Roomate-(crying in the fetal position for the love of his life has been murderer) Me- (laughing) I have a problem

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a jew throwing a dime into a wishing well.

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What did the phone say to the telephone? I can't connect with you.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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how do you stop a baby crying hit it with a brick.

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Q. Did you hear about the kid napping? A. Yeah, he woke up and was grumpy

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Why did the old woman put roller skates on her rocking chair? She had dementia.

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What do you call a dead blond in a closet? A homicide victim.

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What did the African boy get for his Christmas present for the first time? Leprosy

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America Votes

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What's worse than one bee sting? 2 bee stings

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A man walks around a bar.

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How did the fat man die? Someone who was mad at society shot him and many others in the head while at the workplace.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -.......

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Knock knock

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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