What do you call a woman with a penis? A Hermaphrodite.

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman immediately calls the local stable to report the missing stallion, and his owner promptly arrives to take him home. He thanks the landlord and offers a small reward, but it is respectfully declined.

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what was the dinosaur after it got out of the pool? wet

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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What's the difference between a white man and a black man? Nothing. They are both created in God's image and likeness so get your mind outta the gutter!

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You're momma's so fat, she's got high cholesterol.

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What's black and white and red all over? And old fashioned television painted red.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face (pokerface)

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What do the Holocaust and baseball have in common? They are sports, except the Holocaust.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Boo Boo Who? Boo Smith, I'm the town rapist.

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On a scale of one to 10, F*ck yourself.

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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Yo mammas so fat she went on a diet.

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What rhymes with you? You.

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Knock Knock "Who's There?" *No answer* The man proceeds to go on with his life

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Roses are red, violets are blue, why am i even talking to you?

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what do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Bob

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What made parashoot paint's so uncool? MC Hammer.

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A barrel of monkeys is only a barrel of laughs if they're alive and telling jokes.

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A quadrapeldgic walks no where

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What did the penguins get for Christmas? A hang-glider What did the polar bears get for Christmas? Death, The Holocaust, Global Warming, and all of Steven King's books.

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So a baby seal walks into a club.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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What did the grass say to the human "Hey" The human then screams and runs to safety

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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