Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was John Elway.

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"Lassie, Lassie, come quick! Timmy is in the well!" "I'm a dog," replies Lassie. "You folks have ropes, ladders, and opposable thumbs. What the hell could I possibly do to help?" With that final act of disobedience, Lassie was turned into fertilizer.

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a kid plays computer games alot and gets carpoltunel in both hands and lives in pain for the rest of his life.

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What did Sally want for Christmas? Nothing, she is Jewish.

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I saw a woman get burned alive on the news... That woman was my mom.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Cancer

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you walk into a bar Griffin: 'are you ok'

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why did the Chicken Cross the Road? Why must you question a Chicken's motives to Cross the Road?

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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How can you tell if someone is vegan? -they'll tell you

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How can you tell Santa is racist? He doesn't give Africans presents.

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Wanna hear a clean joke? I took a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is the girl next door.

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Dear crush, I want to drink you

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Why did the boy fall off the swings? He had no arms.

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Q. Whats does the kid and the dog have in common? A. The kid has Herpes.

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What do you get when you mix monster, coke, and and seltzer? Kicked out of stop and shop.

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How do u make Michael Jackson cry Dead people can't cry you dumb bitch

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Friend's sister: how many seconds are in 12 o'clock Friend: alot Friend's sister: WELL THEN 12 O'CLOCK IS A REWERJAJSBDKDJDHRJRJFHFKRJRIDBDKSBSDJ *slams door*

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Q) What's worse than getting dumped by text? A) Getting hit by a fridge.

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How many blondes does it take to walk into a bar? One I guess. I don't know if I understand the question.

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There was a girl who had a dream of becoming a famous movie star. So, after five years of hard work and dedication, she didn't become a famous movie star. Dreams don't always come true. Refrigerators keep things cold.

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What is green and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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A white guy, a black guy, and an asian guy are all sitting on a park bench. They share several minutes of uncomfortable silence due to cultural differences.

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How many Black People does it take to change a lightbulb? One. Changing a lightbulb is a very simple task.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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